"..my weakness is,
that I care too much.."
that I care too much.."
Dear lonely isle,
What am I doing??
I tell myself that my trials is coming up.
I need my heart and I need my head.
Yet every night I'm here.
Waiting.
For what? Something to happen I suppose.
Actually, if I wasn't in denial now, I would say that I know exactly what I'm waiting for.
But you can forget it.
I'm not going to admit it. Neither am I ever going to admit why I'm here.
Every night.
Sitting. Wasting my time away.
When I could be doing something else.
Funny thing is, I actually know all this, and yet I'm still enjoying sitting down here.
Just waiting.
And then starting my studying every night at 12. Before dying in class the next day.
Yes. I admit I'm useless.
And that my heart and head are only marginally under my control.
And that these days, my conscience officially has no say in the proceedings of my body.
Perhaps I have run amok.
My central internal government is in pieces.
Allowed to do as it wished.
I think I'm doomed.
I tell myself that my trials is coming up.
I need my heart and I need my head.
Yet every night I'm here.
Waiting.
For what? Something to happen I suppose.
Actually, if I wasn't in denial now, I would say that I know exactly what I'm waiting for.
But you can forget it.
I'm not going to admit it. Neither am I ever going to admit why I'm here.
Every night.
Sitting. Wasting my time away.
When I could be doing something else.
Funny thing is, I actually know all this, and yet I'm still enjoying sitting down here.
Just waiting.
And then starting my studying every night at 12. Before dying in class the next day.
Yes. I admit I'm useless.
And that my heart and head are only marginally under my control.
And that these days, my conscience officially has no say in the proceedings of my body.
Perhaps I have run amok.
My central internal government is in pieces.
Allowed to do as it wished.
I think I'm doomed.
Nothing new about that though.
love, joyce.
0 comments:
Post a Comment