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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Chasing The Dragon, And Searching For Paradise

"..ride with me upon a shining star,
above the moonlight sky,
we will find elysium.."

Dear lonely isle,

I realise that I'm a dreamer.
Try as I like to be practical and unromantic, deep down, I still dream.
Every night I dream.
Frankly, I'm quite sick of dreaming.
But then, even when I'm awake, I realise that I've never actually stopped dreaming.
It just goes on, inside. The ever continuous dream, weaving clouds above me.
The only difference is, I have more control over what I want to dream about.
Dreams are extensions of our thoughts into visual images. A translation of what we feel, hope and want, into something we can comprehend.
So the theory is, if we do not think, then therefore we will not be plagued by dreams of what we really feel.
But subconciously, is it possible to not think?
When we are awake, it's possible to push a thought aside. But when we are asleep, will that thought continue to be displaced?
It doesn't help too, to daydream and continue what you dreamt the night before.
I realise I can spend hours by myself, just not doing anything. Lying, dreaming.
The mind is an amazing thing. We all become award winning directors in our own head.
To be able to see it all, imagine it all, is something even the greatest cameras cannot portray.
But dreams are like drugs.
They're addictive.
They make people unproductive.

They're only good for a short term 'high'.
And at the end of the day, they make you even more depressed than before.
Sounds familiar?
Perhaps I'm no better than a drug addict now.
Except perhaps I cannot contract AIDS this way.
But does that make dreaming better than taking drugs?
The reason why drug addicts take drugs is probably to escape the world. To get inside their head, and see through rose tinted eyes.

Well, truth is, I can do that without having to take drugs.

Living in shades of grey,
And dreaming of colours every night.

love, joyce.

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