Sunday, March 30, 2008

Destressing Saturday

Dear lonely isle,

What do you do when you're stressed?

We have an exam on Monday. For which none of us have yet to study. But anyway, we went out on Saturday on the pretense of celebrating Tiing Jen's birthday. Okay so maybe it was not all pretend.

The one thing that is almost certain is, biophysical chemistry exam on Monday is very nearly, almost as good as gone.

Oh that other one we gave up on was biochemistry. Different subject, but equally as dislikable. For the record, I absolutely detest both.

So what do you do when you're stressed?

Camwhoring at Secret Recipe!

A very stressed Jia Jia found it very hard to smile.

She was so worried she wanted to study her notes and asked us to go ahead without her for the movie.

Obviously we couldn't let her be hardworking while we're all having fun.

We dragged her kicking and screaming into the cinema.

Pigging out at Secret Recipe

Why only camwhore when you can also eat?

Sinned a lot yesterday.

But couldn't care less somehow.

Don't they all look so pretty?

I was too full after that...couldn't get my choc frap T___T

Trying on RM10 sunglasses!

Lai San attempting to be chiun.

The lady selling the sunglasses was nice enough not to scold us for playing with her wares.

Hello gorgeous :P

More camwhoring!

Supposedly trying to imitate Hua Jie from Ah Long Pte. Ltd.

Me? Oh I was imitating her husband :P
The chao-ah-kua dance instructor Jojo Fang.

Failed attempts to camwhore nicely :

Play with the smile shutter!

It's so hard to stay stressed when you're out with us :P
A much less stressed Jia Jia.
We're good.

My camera simply adores my smile :)

It's hard to be Lai San sometimes...

More pigging out!
Didn't you know?
Stressed people need to eat eat eat to relieve their stress.

I guess I should really know,
because I ate 12 fried dumplings all on my own....

We ordered 20 by the way >.<"

But they're soooooo goood....
Crispy fried skin on the outside,
holding in the juicy meat and gravy inside....YUM

Sorry! The food got in the way of picture-taking..

Nevermind, you got to see the aftermath anyway.

The Aftermath.

Even more camwhoring...

It's really hard to be Lai San sometimes.

And what else?

More photo-taking wearing RM10 sunglasses :P
The idea is to find the more outrageous looking sunglasses and have a good laugh at yourself.

For some reason everytime I look at this picture i'm reminded of Minnie Mouse.
Anyone got any idea why?

Baja Hitam anyone?
Masked Rider was here.

Pink Ranger and White Ranger.

Note to self: Keep exam-ridden students away from hypermarkets.
The tendency to overshop and attempt to buy entire hypermarket is very large and very real.

My poor car had trouble accelerating after that.

It was a fun day.

But helluva price to pay for it.

Worried, and at the same time,
couldn't care less.

Wonder why.

love, Joyce.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

More Than Words

"..listen as your day unfolds,
challenge what the future holds,
try and keep your head up to the sky,
many things may cause you tears,
go ahead release your fears,
stand up and be counted,
don't be ashamed to cry.."

Dear lonely isle,

Life is fragile.

But it is also beautiful.

Sometimes it doesn't turn out quite they way we want it to.

But that's because we're not looking from the right angle.

Sometimes we just need to focus on what's important,
and what makes living beautiful.

Failures and sadness can make your heart weep
only for as long as you allow it to.

But every once in awhile, we need to to take a step back,
and see the big picture.

To remember where we came from, and how far we've come.
To find out where we are,
and to see where we're going.

So that we never lose track of ourselves.

love, Joyce.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Career Day Slavery

Dear lonely isle,

Became a slave to my course today.
The lecturer in charge of our program absolutely insisted that as students from the Biotechnology course, we must organize a Career Day. Don't get the connection.
But we get the fact that she wants to acquire bragging rights.

So what are students under the power of lecturers who mark their exam papers to do?
Follow orders lorh...

So we slaved and toiled away for this day, which I think benefited the seniors (3rd year students) the most. The juniors (first years) were too blur and don't know much about anything, and we were just too busy with everything else to pay attention to the speakers. Those that were not a member of the committee were pretty much studying for mid terms on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

Yeah, some lecturers think we've too much idle time on our hands, and that obviously some mindless, meaningless task must be given to us so that we can be more productive.

The devil finds work for idle hands.

What a fitting adage.

At last count, I have 10 reports pending, 6 assignments, 7 essays, and a presentation to cover plus 3 upcoming mid terms this week. Yes, idle indeed.

We were made to go to campus before 7 in the morning, something which even on days I have morning class I do not do. All just for this day.

Best part is, the lecturer that insisted we organized this day, was too 'busy' to attend it.
She passed the responsibility to another lecturer.

Sometimes I feel like using her face as a mop. The bathroom can be really dirty.

I mean, that's not counting the decoration and the rehearsal the day before, and the meetings leading up to this day, and all that running about.

Yes the bathroom badly needs to be mopped.

Around 8.00am on the morning.
During registration.
Nope, not us, we're under er...

whassat called? The people who take care of the itinerary and watch the time and remind the speaker it's time to stop?

That's us.

Studying on the job.
It's hard being a student and a slave at the same time.

Pinku people!
Would you believe its even the same brand?

Just woke up. I bet you can tell.
My arms had bad pins and needles T__T
Hehe but they got massaged back to life :P

From here onwards pictures of me look sick/dead.
Didn't realize I look that tired...

Jia Jia doesn't like the cameraman.

Lai San likes balloons.

Lai San really likes balloons.

I don't know why is this in the hall, but I thought it looked pretty cute.

Cute fake plant.

Members of the committee for the Career Day.
Look so damn fat in this picture T___T

Dead looking me.
Everyone was happy bout getting the chocolate though.

Personal memento from slaving ourselves.

I was taking the picture with both hands.
My finger didn't get to be in the picture T__T

And you can so tell Jia Jia has 2 fingers there >.<"

Dead tired.
Don't know why.

But good company makes even the stupidest day feel a lot better.

love, Joyce.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Hold On

I wondered through fiction to look for the truth

buried beneath all the lies
and I stood at a distance
to feel who you are
hiding myself in your eyes

and hold on before it's too late
we'll run till we leave this behind
don't fall just be who you are
it's all that we need in our lives

and the risk that might break you
is the one that would save
a life you don't live is still lost
so stand on the edge with me
hold back your fear and see
nothing is real till it's gone

and hold on before its too late
we'll run till we leave this behind
don't fall just be who you are
it's all that we need in our lives

so live like you mean it
love till you feel it
it's all that we need in our lives
so stand on the edge with me
hold back your fear and see
nothing is real till it's gone

hold on before its too late
we'll run till we leave this behind
don't fall just be who you are
it's all that we need in our lives

hold on before its too late
we'll run till we leave this behind
don't fall just be who you are
it's all that we need in our lives

it's all that we need in our lives
it's all that I need in my life

(Hold On) Before It's Too Late
Goo Goo Dolls

Holding on.

Just need to hold on.

Clutching at straws.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

"..see I'm all about them words,
over numbers, unencumbered numbered words,
hundreds of pages, pages, pages for words,
more words then I had ever heard,

and I feel so alive

Jason Mraz
You and I both

Two Years

"..sometimes the only way to make it through
with hearts and wrists intact
is to realize
that two out of three ain't bad.."

Dear lonely isle,

When you're down on the ground, sometimes life kicks you in the stomach and shoves sand into your mouth.

And sometimes, life extends a hand.

There are times when things go from bad to worse, and then there are times when it seems luck has not totally forsaken you yet.

The thing is, we can never tell if it's just gonna drizzle, or if it's gonna pour.

But we can try to prepare for all eventualities. Some of us carry pepper spray in our handbags when we go out, and others keep a club under the bed.

Some of us close off our hearts.

Leaving behind all you hold dear to venture off into foreign land is akin to stabbing yourself in the heart and watch yourself bleed to death on the floor. Being mortally wounded as so, it's hard sometimes to open up to new places, and new faces.

Some have it easier than others, some have it going tough. But nothing is quite as tough as going it alone.

To shut yourself in, taking in everything new; weird, bizarre, strange, unpleasant, foreign - by yourself. You're alone because you're the only one in your heart.

Every moment shared is twice the memory, and every fear shared is half the burden.
Every step taken together is already half the journey.

There's a big difference knowing that you can go home to someone waiting to hear about your day, and going home to an empty room. Just like there's a difference knowing there's someone at the other end of the line you can cry to who won't judge you and no one picking up the phone. And that makes all the difference in the world.

Sometimes what makes life a bit more bearable is being able to be honest. Not just to the ones you left behind, but also to the ones you face tomorrow. To be able to laugh or to smile, and to know it comes from the heart, and to be able to cry, and know that it's okay even when you're not alone. In the bathroom. Or in your room in the dark. When everyone else is asleep.

Sometimes you feel like you put your life on hold, an imaginary hand pushing the imaginary Pause button, when you step into that airplane and leave behind your true self. And that everytime you touch down, you put on a mask. And sometimes, I wonder why.

And like a child taking first steps, I find myself learning how to trust once more. To slowly be able to walk with others. I've learnt that shadows are just shadows, and even though sometimes the lights can make them look really long, they only get as dark and as scary as you let them be.

Because there will always be shadows, and there will always be dark corners.
But there will only be fear for as long as you allow yourself to be afraid.

Sometimes the difference between yesterday and today is only a matter of perspective. But then again, that’s what’s been differentiating then from now, what makes then become then, and the you in the mirror today, now.

This is my life.
It's time I lived it.

All of it.

No matter where I am.

My flight from home is only two and a half hours long, but it took me two years to get here.

love, Joyce.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Falling, Fell, Fallen

"..London bridge is falling down,
falling down, falling down,
London bridge is falling down,
my fair lady.."

Dear lonely isle,

Do you remember the nursery rhyme about the bridge that kept on falling down no matter what it was built with?

Sometimes I feel that that is the perfect anology of my life.

Never thought I'd feel like this again.

But life always surprises me.

Over and over.

love, Joyce.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

MAGRA 2008

Dear lonely isle,

About some time ago, (methinks it was only last week actually) me and a few coursemates decided to go for MAGRA (award night). As such, we then cornered our dear friend Tiing Jen and asked her what she was going to wear, knowing the tomboy that she is, she'll probably wear what she wears to class on formal days. We, of course, couldn't let that happen, especially since even Lai San went and bought a dress for the occassion.

But Tiing Jen was like "Huh? Wear jeans lah."

Three of us went >.<" You cannot be serious...

So we cornered her and badgered her to let us take her out shopping before the event and we will get her something to wear (her birthday was coming up anyway). Of course, being the good friend that I am, I promised her no lace, no skirts and no dresses. She agreed.

So bright and early this morning (oh wait, it's yesterday morning now), we dragged her out of bed and out of the house. It was time to go shopping....for ink.

Well yeah, Tiing Jen and I had already agreed to go buy ink today (yesterday now) way before the whole MAGRA issue came up. So we went to buy ink, and then planned to go to Wisma Merdeka to shop for her top (I thought a nice sexy top would go well with her slacks). But instead we saw lotsa clothes shop in Karamunsing as well, so what the hell, might as well get the shopping done there. We didn't have much time anyway, because MAGRA was today (yesterday, sorry) itself.

We didn't have a choice! The only day we were all free to go shopping was today, and that's even with forgoing a day of studying to enjoy and amuse ourselves dressing up the tomboy of our group.

But lo and behold, Tiing Jen never fails to surprise me. I don't know what made her change her mind, indeed she can be most stubborn, but she allowed us to get her a DRESS. Yeah, she did say her room mate gave her an ultimatum of getting a dress or no heels (we made her borrow a pair). Suddenly shopping became even more fun.

But shopping for the girl is like shopping for a lump of wood. It had as much or probably more preference and opinion than she had. Anything and everything was either "Okay", "I don't know" or "Whatever you guys like". Hellooooooooooooooo~ You'll be the one to wear it...

I tried getting her to choose on her own cos she'd probably like it better if she chose it herself...but my efforts were all in vain.

Finally found something we all 3 agreed on that flattered her more than other dresses.

Then we find that her room mate does not have brown or black heels >.<" How can you not have black heels? The impossibility of the situation astounds me.

So now shoe shopping! And yes, our poor girl has never worn heels before.

Finally again, we found something she liked that she could walk in (actually I found something I liked which she thought was nice too) that was on a buy one free one thingy.

And I ended up spending money...Yes I know! I shouldn't! But I liked those heels too... and she didn't have any other pair she fancied enough to get.

No worries, we got different colours: hers, brown and cream; mine, black and grey.

Before MAGRA, I got dragged over to her place to put make up. Yes, someone please teach me, I am that sad. I don't know how to put on makeup. Her housemates decided to play dressup with her that day and she thought I should suffer too.

My makeup was done in like under half and hour (wanted just a light, nude one). She was there for nearly 2 hours...we kind of missed the bus, so Yasmin sent us to Nexus Karambunai (thank you Yasmin!!) and we'd catch the bus back.

(L to R): Me, Tiing Jen, Lai San, Jia Jia.
I tried to get Phebe to come too, but she absolutely refuses to...
I put on my most winsome face, my most winsome smile and even used my most winsome persuasion which would have devastated anyone...but she was resilient T__T

With my other coursemates who attended the dinner.

The dragon looks like he's gonna eat Lai San. (or maybe me. I'm fatter)

At any time I look marginally good or slim in a photo,
it will with all certainty, unmistakably, definitely and without a doubt
turn out to be blur.
I'm starting to think my own camera doesn't like me.

See? What did I tell you?

"I am not Tiing Jen. That is not my face, this is not my dress. That is not me.
That's my sister."
quote unquote Ms Loh Tiing Jen.

She decided to be Yvonne Loh today, making our initials an opposite of each other's.
(what do you call it? Ambigram?)
Oh, its Loh Tiing Jen
which when placed backwards form the initials JTL (with a Y for Yvonne)

If you still don't know whose initials those are,
go jump out of your window right now.

A few broken bones and concussed skull might help jog your memory.

Chinese girls of Year 2 Biotechnology course. (minus one. Dammit Phebe!)

They started the speeches around this time. Could you blame us?

My new heels!
I really do like them.
They're stable and actually comfortable, for a pair of heels.

Oh, remember last year's MAGRA where I didn't get to go up the stage
because I was too busy playing hero in the bathroom?
I decided that that will not happen again.
Went bathroom earlier and stayed put in the ballroom till it was time.

FINALLY, the moment I'd been waiting for.
My name was after Lai San's and Jia Jia.
So after "Woo Lai San", was...

"Adibah Noor Something Or Other, Couldn't Be Bothered".

Joyce went "..."

and then "What the F**k?"

and then went to complain to the class rep.

and gave him the Look.

He scurried off to find the person in charge, and came back with..

"I'm so sorry, they told me something wrong with the printer they can't print your cert."

Joyce went "So? They could've still called my name right?" *gives Look*

Class rep scurries off and points to me the person in charge, wanting to be out of my wrath.

Person-in-charge goes, "You're Jocelyn? OMG we're so very sorry!
You see, you see the printer-"

"You could've still called out my name."

"Yes I'm so very sorry, will go find out what went wrong."

Scurries off, came back with...

"You see, it's the emcee's fault.."

*internal monologue* Yes I expect she's either blind, retarded or illiterate. Or maybe she's just genetically modified to immediately skip the words Jocelyn Toh Lian Yin as they do not register in her brain. Which makes you the bigger idiot because your committee was dumb enough to pick her as the emcee.

"But we are so very sorry, we are rectifying the problem now, your name will be called soon.."

I don't know how I looked like but people were just scurrying to be out of my way and pass me to the next person so he/she could apologize to me.
I lost count of how many people apologized to me that night.

It was so odd, out of nowhere they announced my course and my name...
The camera probably thought I was too bitchy and refused to get a clear shot.

In an attempt to pose..

With one of our favourite (and better) lecturers, Dr Lee (centre, with shawl).

Four fansu!

In the bus on the way back.

WARNING: Camwhoring ahead.

You've been warned.

It's amazing how I can smile in the almost exact same way almost all the time.
(Finally, Ann Gee!)

Obviously I'm failing horribly here but who cares.
This is MY BLOG.

You're probably sick of looking at me by now, but I'm not :P
Why waste the makeup?

I know you're probably going "What makeup?" (audibly too) but I DO have some on.

Okay, okay it's the last one already.

I started fiddling with my glasses.
And nope I didn't get contacts. Just took off my glasses for pictures :P

It's been a fun day :)

Good Night!

love, Joyce.