Dear lonely isle,
I realise that many people do not know the difference between having tact and promoting ignorance.
I realise that many people do not think their way though before opening their mouth to speak. The first thing that pops into their mind is said, without considering the consequences. The space of what we want to say and what we say is very very small, and often we tend to skip the thinking and consideration part.
But first, ignorance and having tact.
Ignorance is knowing that your housing area is in the way of a giant hurricane, yet you refuse to evacuate because you think what you don't know, can't hurt you. Ignorance is not knowing the difference between having tact and ignorance, and thinking it's the same. Ignorance is not a crime, yet sadly there are many people who think it is. Especially ignorant people. (who sadly, do not realise they are.)
They believe that because they can handle certain issues, that everyone can. I mean, we all get it that you of all people are very strong emotionally and are able to handle earthquakes and death on a regular basis, but for the rest of us, some things affect us more deeply than others. And why we react differently to these things is what makes us all different inside, unique, and human. A person who does not panic in a fire is no better than one who does. There is a reason to the way we react. And understanding that, in a way, is tact.
And being able to understand that, to know how it feels like to be in another person's shoes, and to react to that person, taking into consideration the person's feelings, opinions, and how important that issue is to that person, is tact.
The same sentence, when said in a different tone, or in a different way can have a different effect on a person. While some people are more direct in their approach, they would prefer a softer approach to them. It all boils down to the fact that everyone is different, and we handle our issues in a different way. Some people face their fear to conquer it, others avoid it. It does not make one type better than the other. And because everyone is different, there will be some who like you, some who love you, and some who hate you. Because everyone sees things in a different perspective, it takes a different approach for a different person. Nothing works for everyone.
For those who choose to bulldoze their ideas past everyone in the way or anyone they meet, they must learn to accept that not everyone will appreciate what they do, even if they're trying to help. Because perhaps even a different term used can make a difference between hate and gratitude.
And what some people must learn to understand is that, just because you can say it, doesn't mean that you have to or should. Just because you believe it to be right, or the truth or something you consider to be facts, doesn't mean that you should say it. Consider a man on his death bed, and because most people are afraid of death (something which most people can't understand I believe. While I'm not afraid of death, I understand that people are always afraid of the unknown. See? example of tact. Which is why death has to be handled delicately with most people.) you do not ask the dying man would he wish to be cremated or buried, especially if he's terrified of his fate. It may seem stupid to most ignorant people but then again, put yourself in the man's shoes. Have pity, if not sympathy for him that he feels that way, and help him be at ease during his last days, by not causing him to be more freaked out than he already is.
Tact is mostly about putting yourself in the other person's shoes, and trying to understand what it feels like even if you don't understand how they can see it that way. You don't have to understand the reason. Just having the heart to understand the feelings is enough to know that some people need to be handled differently.
Being blunt, direct, frank, brash, or any other name you want to give it, does have its charm sometimes. But it's the person who knows when to use it and when not to, is a person who thinks with his brain, and not let his mouth do the thinking for him. For if you keep talking, how can you listen. And if you do not listen, how can you hope to understand? The first step before you impart advice or another is to first listen. If you do not know how, shutting up and paying attention to what the other person has to say would be a good effort in the right direction.
Well, sorry for the extended lecture, but I really felt that some people should know this. And maybe consider what they have written, or said, in a different light, and see for themselves how ignorant they are, even if they try to believe that they're covered in truth.
love, joyce.
I realise that many people do not know the difference between having tact and promoting ignorance.
I realise that many people do not think their way though before opening their mouth to speak. The first thing that pops into their mind is said, without considering the consequences. The space of what we want to say and what we say is very very small, and often we tend to skip the thinking and consideration part.
But first, ignorance and having tact.
Ignorance is knowing that your housing area is in the way of a giant hurricane, yet you refuse to evacuate because you think what you don't know, can't hurt you. Ignorance is not knowing the difference between having tact and ignorance, and thinking it's the same. Ignorance is not a crime, yet sadly there are many people who think it is. Especially ignorant people. (who sadly, do not realise they are.)
They believe that because they can handle certain issues, that everyone can. I mean, we all get it that you of all people are very strong emotionally and are able to handle earthquakes and death on a regular basis, but for the rest of us, some things affect us more deeply than others. And why we react differently to these things is what makes us all different inside, unique, and human. A person who does not panic in a fire is no better than one who does. There is a reason to the way we react. And understanding that, in a way, is tact.
And being able to understand that, to know how it feels like to be in another person's shoes, and to react to that person, taking into consideration the person's feelings, opinions, and how important that issue is to that person, is tact.
The same sentence, when said in a different tone, or in a different way can have a different effect on a person. While some people are more direct in their approach, they would prefer a softer approach to them. It all boils down to the fact that everyone is different, and we handle our issues in a different way. Some people face their fear to conquer it, others avoid it. It does not make one type better than the other. And because everyone is different, there will be some who like you, some who love you, and some who hate you. Because everyone sees things in a different perspective, it takes a different approach for a different person. Nothing works for everyone.
For those who choose to bulldoze their ideas past everyone in the way or anyone they meet, they must learn to accept that not everyone will appreciate what they do, even if they're trying to help. Because perhaps even a different term used can make a difference between hate and gratitude.
And what some people must learn to understand is that, just because you can say it, doesn't mean that you have to or should. Just because you believe it to be right, or the truth or something you consider to be facts, doesn't mean that you should say it. Consider a man on his death bed, and because most people are afraid of death (something which most people can't understand I believe. While I'm not afraid of death, I understand that people are always afraid of the unknown. See? example of tact. Which is why death has to be handled delicately with most people.) you do not ask the dying man would he wish to be cremated or buried, especially if he's terrified of his fate. It may seem stupid to most ignorant people but then again, put yourself in the man's shoes. Have pity, if not sympathy for him that he feels that way, and help him be at ease during his last days, by not causing him to be more freaked out than he already is.
Tact is mostly about putting yourself in the other person's shoes, and trying to understand what it feels like even if you don't understand how they can see it that way. You don't have to understand the reason. Just having the heart to understand the feelings is enough to know that some people need to be handled differently.
Being blunt, direct, frank, brash, or any other name you want to give it, does have its charm sometimes. But it's the person who knows when to use it and when not to, is a person who thinks with his brain, and not let his mouth do the thinking for him. For if you keep talking, how can you listen. And if you do not listen, how can you hope to understand? The first step before you impart advice or another is to first listen. If you do not know how, shutting up and paying attention to what the other person has to say would be a good effort in the right direction.
Well, sorry for the extended lecture, but I really felt that some people should know this. And maybe consider what they have written, or said, in a different light, and see for themselves how ignorant they are, even if they try to believe that they're covered in truth.
love, joyce.
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