"..heaven bent to take my hand,
lead me through the fire,
be the long awaited answer,
to a long and painful fight.."
lead me through the fire,
be the long awaited answer,
to a long and painful fight.."
Dear lonely isle,
I don't know why, but this month seems to go on forever. It feels like the longest month ever, and even the days seem to stretch into infinity.
Well, I know I should be enjoying this state of events, with the upcoming impending doom, but somehow I just can't.
Lately, I'm starting to become easily annoyed (even more than before) and very irritated. I feel like screaming at the world, and I can't stop being irritated. FYI, it's not a fun feeling, being irritated.
And not to mention the nightmares...won't they leave me alone? At least let me have some peace when I sleep. As if worrying during my waking hours is not enough, now I have to go through STPM again in my dreams?
Well, yea, it is really haunting me, and I don't know what to do about it. Sometimes I think it's best if the day just came and get over with it, but then again, I don't want the day to come either.
So it's good to go on being extra bad-tempered? I think I'm starting to piss people off. Heck, I'm starting to piss myself off.
But I guess I am really worried about my results.
And for all you motherfuckering sons of bitches who think with what you may think of as 'your wisecrack mouth', it isn't "just results".
But then again, not all of us are as rich as you are to think that way. I wish I was, so I wouldn't have to worry my head off now, but for the rest of us, (or maybe just me) it's never going to be "just results".
Damn I hate these people.
Anyway, for me I think it's just going to be another night of trying to destress in the hope that when I close my eyes I don't see my school, STPM, results or exams. And also hoping that I don't wake up wanting to spank the world for bad behaviour, and with murderous thoughts about the people around me. (yea, that's how irritated I am nowadays.)
Due to some luck and some kindness I had some days ago, my pillow is rarely damp anymore, and I am able to sleep with dry things. Jellybean has been dry for 2 whole days. I'm quite surprised I haven't cultivated a moss-growing farm by now. Also, no more headaches, and runny noses and no more shaking. I'm actually quite normal now. :)
Well, all in a night's work for me.
love, joyce.
Well, I know I should be enjoying this state of events, with the upcoming impending doom, but somehow I just can't.
Lately, I'm starting to become easily annoyed (even more than before) and very irritated. I feel like screaming at the world, and I can't stop being irritated. FYI, it's not a fun feeling, being irritated.
And not to mention the nightmares...won't they leave me alone? At least let me have some peace when I sleep. As if worrying during my waking hours is not enough, now I have to go through STPM again in my dreams?
Well, yea, it is really haunting me, and I don't know what to do about it. Sometimes I think it's best if the day just came and get over with it, but then again, I don't want the day to come either.
So it's good to go on being extra bad-tempered? I think I'm starting to piss people off. Heck, I'm starting to piss myself off.
But I guess I am really worried about my results.
And for all you motherfuckering sons of bitches who think with what you may think of as 'your wisecrack mouth', it isn't "just results".
But then again, not all of us are as rich as you are to think that way. I wish I was, so I wouldn't have to worry my head off now, but for the rest of us, (or maybe just me) it's never going to be "just results".
Damn I hate these people.
Anyway, for me I think it's just going to be another night of trying to destress in the hope that when I close my eyes I don't see my school, STPM, results or exams. And also hoping that I don't wake up wanting to spank the world for bad behaviour, and with murderous thoughts about the people around me. (yea, that's how irritated I am nowadays.)
Due to some luck and some kindness I had some days ago, my pillow is rarely damp anymore, and I am able to sleep with dry things. Jellybean has been dry for 2 whole days. I'm quite surprised I haven't cultivated a moss-growing farm by now. Also, no more headaches, and runny noses and no more shaking. I'm actually quite normal now. :)
Well, all in a night's work for me.
love, joyce.
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