Freedom Lied

Dear lonely isle,

Freedom came for me at last, on a sad, blustery, Monday afternoon not four days ago, when the wind blew dust into my face as I departed from the examination hall with all hopes of a good result this semester crushed.

Freedom dallied for awhile, when I spent my Tuesday after getting forms approved for my internship.

And just as swiftly as freedom came, freedom left.

On. Wednesday.

When. I. Stepped. Back. Into. The. Dreaded. Laboratory.

The. One. I. Swore. I. Would. Not. Go. To. Within. A. Hundred. Feet. From. Until. Next. Week. Rolls. By.

Okay I need to stop typing like that.

Sigh. The dreaded long days in the lab are back, like the sour turn of the after-holidays when you realize that work starts on Monday, and that Monday is less than 2 hours away. Only that, in my case, there was no holiday for there to be an after-holiday.

I return home each day thinking that I should really not stick Salonpas on myself as 10 pieces is clearly not enough. As a matter of fact, I ache in so many places its hard to find a place that does not ache. And you would think...what exactly DOES she do in the lab? Core workouts?

No...like the weary student that spends too much time on her bum studying only to find out that the person up there doesn't like her that much and so on thus henceforth killed her dreams in paper #4, she finds herself unable to adjust to the mere standing of the whole day.

I don't know how you can get headaches from standing the whole day, but somehow it happens to me >.>

And to think all I could think of when I toiled during late nights and early mornings were..

GODDAMIT WHEN THIS IS OVER I WILL GO SHOPPING, I WILL EAT FRIES, I WILL EAT FRIED DUMPLINGS, I WILL HAVE DOUGHNUTS, I WILL GO TO HANA AND HAVE JAPANESE FOOD, I WILL LEARN TO PUT ON MAKEUP, I WILL HAVE PIZZA, I WILL GO SWIMMING EVERYDAY, I WILL GO OUT AND PAMPER MYSELF, I WILL SLEEP TILL I CAN'T SLEEP ANYMORE, I WILL HAVE 8 HOURS REST, I WILL DO NOTHING ALL DAY BUT LIE IN BED AND ONLY GET UP FOR MEALS, I WILL WATCH A MOVIE IN THE CINEMA (AND NOT CURI-CURI WATCH WHEN I'M SUPPOSED TO BE STUDYING), I WILL CHAT WITH EVERYONE ONLINE ON MY MSN LIST AT NIGHT, I WILL READ THOSE BOOKS I'VE BEEN WANTING TO, I WILL PLAY WITH MY COLOUR PENS AND CREATE FANTASTIC WORKS OF ART, I WILL GET DOWN TO MAKING A BOTTLE OF STARS, I WILL GO AND TRY NEW YORK NEW YORK, I WILL!

And what happened was this.
The disappointment felt is just beyond my range of emotions to feel.

Somehow the harsh realities of life are just what they are-harsh.

Proposal presentation on the 24th...Will die soon.

Love, Joyce.