tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-133322252024-03-08T02:36:43.005+08:00Tol Eresseawith love, joyce.joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.comBlogger412125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-398956232615659312011-01-04T01:43:00.004+08:002011-01-04T02:09:02.071+08:00Bad FeelingsDear lonely isle,<div><br /></div><div>I have a bad feeling.</div><div>Actually let me rephrase that; <i>I had a bad feeling just now</i>.</div><div>Maybe that's still not entirely correct, the bad feeling has not yet passed.</div><div>Therefore, <i>I am having a bad feeling</i>. Sounds about right, no?</div><div>Okay lets start over.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>at the end of the day,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>its what you do and say,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i> that makes you who you are</i>.."</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Dear lonely isle,</div><div><br /></div><div>I am having a bad feeling.</div><div>Of all the feelings I could be having about anything in particular, this has got to be the worst feeling I can have about this particular thing.</div><div>Maybe it was the bad dream I had this afternoon. Maybe it wasn't what I thought it was about.</div><div>Maybe it was the strange dream I had two nights ago.</div><div>Do you believe in foreboding? Do you believe in premonition, precognition, clairvoyance?</div><div><i>Do you believe in bad feelings?</i></div><div><br /></div><div>But its only the start of the year. It should not start with a bad feeling.</div><div><i>Please let it not start with this bad feeling.</i></div><div>I am trying to be hopeful, but..actually I dare not say it. I'm afraid that if I'd even admit it to myself it might come true. And then when it did, I'd have to say that it really did happen.</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't know what am I doing. I'm starting to see warning signs but I'm still charging full speed ahead. </div><div><i>I know I need to stop but I cannot stop myself.</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe I haven't been trying hard enough.</div><div>Truly, this has gone on long enough.</div><div>I must do something about this. I must.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have ceased trying to be hopeful. Hope does not run events or get things done.</div><div>Hope does not get from <i>trying</i> to <i>accomplishing</i>.</div><div>Correction; <i>I need to cease trying to be hopeful</i>.</div><div>Hopefulness was what I hoped was enough.</div><div><br /></div><div>So in myself I must place my trust. I <i><b>will</b></i> get things done.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, even in the event that this bad feeling has a possibility somewhere in the future of coming true, I will snub it out by changing the course of actions starting from this very moment.</div><div><br /></div><div>Truly I need to have more control of myself than what is currently happening to my willpower over my appetite.</div><div>I <i><b>will</b></i> be able to.</div><div><br /></div><div>Honestly, I can't help but feel that this blog is truly, entirely and only for myself. The rambling monologue is nothing but a series of confusion for anyone else who tries to understand it.</div><div>I have gone from analogy to abstract to vague to currently, just indecipherable crap.</div><div><br /></div><div>But it is something I need to get off of my chest. It would be nice to be reassured that its just pre-holiday jitters or overanxiety or whatnot, but since that option is not available to me, I guess this outlet will just have to do for now.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Bad feeling, please go away</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>Love, Joyce.</div><div><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-90047101846757994762010-05-01T02:05:00.003+08:002010-05-01T02:22:47.736+08:00Lost<div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>and doesn't know where to find them</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Leave them alone and they'll come home</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>bringing their tails behind them</i>.."</div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes I feel like one of her sheep. Despite the fact that I have herd mentality I also have this insane and annoying ability of getting lost.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Yes it is true. I have the sense of direction of a bat with a broken sonar.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Uncanny knack for getting lost in the literal sense aside, I also tend to get lost in all sorts of other ways as well.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Lost in thought, lost in emotions, lost in decisions, really, the list can go on.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I must have been born with a broken compass, in every sense of the word.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">How is it that some people are always so sure of themselves, no matter what, how or where they find themselves to be?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">How is it that some people are as sure-footed and as stable as cats, always, always landing on their feet whenever they fall, no matter the height?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Why is it that most of us are born without the natural grace and elegance of a gifted few?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I, for one, have always managed, with a hundred percent success rate, to fall flat on my face every time I trip. It's somehow like Murphy's Law. There is an unwritten rule somewhere that says whenever Joyce falls down, its always facedown, preferably in a puddle of mud. Probably because she tripped over her own feet.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">If at anytime at all, should you delight in watching me go to pieces, the answer is simple; give me a choice.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Its a surefire way to watch me unravel at the seams and slowly come undone.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Its quite simple, anyone will tell you choices are better than none. People always want to choose. At anytime you want to distract someone, make them feel like they're in power; you give them a choice, and let them choose.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I've always felt that choices are double-edged swords, and either way you're going to get cut. Its sad to say, but its probably true that I've always preferred to follow than to lead. Whenever it came to the choice between the greater good or to let everyone die nobly, I will probably go down in history as the most useless leader, by allowing voting to happen.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Even when I know what I want I can barely make a decision, when I don't know what I want, a simple choice can reduce me to tears.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Confidence, confidence. I seem to be missing you lately. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Wherefore art thou?</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Love, Joyce.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-26368704444012857222010-04-08T23:26:00.003+08:002010-04-08T23:54:12.944+08:00The Show<div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>I'm just a little bit caught in the middle</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>life is a maze, love is a riddle</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I don't know where to go, can't do it alone</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I've tried, and I don't know why</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm just a little girl lost in the moment</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm so scared, but I don't show it</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I know, I've got to let it go</i>.."</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Dear lonely isle,</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The other day I overheard something I wished I didn't.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Okay, maybe overheard was the wrong word, because it wasn't even overhearing in the very least. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">So let's amend it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The other day something was spoken in my presence which I wished wasn't.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Because if God pitied us he'd have make it possible to unhear things.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">To say that I'm bothered by it would be an understatement. It's starting to worry me more and more. I try not to think about it, but its just never far from my mind.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes I wonder why I have to work. Now I wonder no more.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">It's not something I can do anything about, so it seems rather silly to let it occupy my thoughts. But alas, paranoia and needless worrying is something I'm rather inclined to do.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">These days I worry more about the future. I wonder if its got to do with growing up.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I've been blessed a hundred times over, growing up in the environment I did. Maybe its time to give back.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Just the other day, the most worry-free girl I know at work turned to me and said, "You know, I woke up this morning and thought about quitting at the end of the month. This job is really quite stressful."</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And then I sat up a little straighter in my chair.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes I don't know if I'm doing something wrong, or if there must be something wrong with me. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It's true that there are days that going to work seemed more painful than being drawn and quartered, I don't deny.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But at the same time, I've just never considered quitting. True I do sometimes imagine what I'd do if I <i>didn't</i> have to work, but no I've never given the idea that I'd decide to stop much thought.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes life is just a lot easier and less complicated when there's just the work in front of you that needs to be done. But at the same time, when you find yourself the only person who feels that way, sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with the work or if there's something wrong with me. Everytime someone tells me that they're thinking of getting another job, its like a slap in the face, because I again wonder what am I doing here.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I don't think it matters much either way, because whether I stay or I don't it doesn't make me think less about what I heard that I wished so much I didn't hear, neither does it make things better if I do stay. Leaving might make things worse, but then again, nothing I do seems to matter very much in the scale of things. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I'm just one person, and I'm supposed to do what I need to do, and I should do what I'm supposed to do till I can't, and as one person doing something is better than one person not trying at all.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So I'm still sitting on the raft in the middle of the ocean, not quite sure if I should paddle with the current, against it, or if I should paddle at all. Clearly I'm not going anywhere, but I don't have anywhere to go.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I really wish I weren't so lost.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Shima, where are you? I need to talk :(</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Love, Joyce.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-32620963354771137372010-03-24T02:11:00.003+08:002010-03-24T02:57:48.731+08:0021 Guns<div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>your faith walks on broken glass</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>and the hangover doesn't pass</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>nothing's ever built to last</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i> you're in ruins</i>.."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Dear lonely isle,</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Notable thing of today: spoke so much chinese speaking in any other language felt pretty foreign for awhile. Oh, and I actually thought in chinese for awhile too.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Somehow, it seems pretty small.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Everything seems pretty small after awhile, when you've had enough time to get away from it and look at it from a distance.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Somehow, its all I've been feeling.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Gosh. Is it that time of the month again? </div><div style="text-align: justify;">It sucks to be the girl always associated with this affliction, but what sucks even more is that it somehow seems to be true.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I think I need to do something with my life.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The other day as I watched season 5 of Desperate Housewives, I mused as I watched Tom and Lynette fight because the tired wife had fallen asleep during a sex session. The next day, Tom had said, "<i>Do you know why sex with you has become so important to me lately? Its because the only thing that I'm passionate about in my life right now, is you</i>."</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And I think I understand truly. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I am all for and always with condoning living life with passion, but somehow, just like how Tom felt silly about sharing it, so do I; I don't have anything I'm passionate about.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes I wonder if there are people out there who feel this way.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Because all the other people I've known and met aren't like that. Everyone has...something that they're passionate about. It could be their job, a pet, animals in general, a hobby, an idea, a culture, the environment, something.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I don't even have anything imaginary to the passionate about.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Some people are passionate about living itself. Striving, pushing forward, and always wanting to improve.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes I wonder if being a lazy person has anything to do with it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I mean..I understand that I am a lazy person. But to the extent where I am passionate about nothing because I do not put in enough effort to be passionate about something? If that is so then I guess I have never felt so ashamed in my life before.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Most of the time I feel like half an adult, like a child not fully grown, because even children are more passionate than I am.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Someone once told me that this is a syndrome of people who are too well endowed in the upper regions; note: brain. If such is true I'd give away my grades for half the passion that any normal person has.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes, on days like these I feel like my life is one long, straight line from point A to point B. And much as I'd like to pretend how interesting point A and point B is, and how eventful the journey from former to latter was, I'm afraid I'd only be lying. My life is just as eventful, and just as interesting as 2 points on a sheet of plain white paper, with a ruler-straight line connecting them. And that was very painful to say.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Perhaps its better to be boring and uneventful than to be filled with sorrow and pain. And perhaps, I agree, yes that is better. But honestly, what would I know?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Yes, on some days I feel very small indeed. Tiny in fact.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And I wonder if its because of the change of hormones taking place in my body.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And secretly, I think it isn't true at all, because there are some things you just can't lie to yourself.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I know I need to find something to do with my life.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Because people only usually feel this way after experiencing near death, or after they're forty and hitting mid life crisis.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I can't imagine how I'm going to be like when I hit forty. I'm probably heading for a nervous breakdown.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Did you stand too close to the fire, like a liar begging for forgiveness from a stone..?</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes, when I take a look at my blog, I realize, it is, a very long, and very personal diary. I say very personal, because whenever I come here, its always because, I have something to say...about myself. Does this make me a self obsessed person? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And to make things even sadder, I'm now going to try to explain to myself why I always and only write about myself. There are a lot of other things I can write about, and I know this to be true. There are a lot of other people I can write about, but yet, I tend to write exclusively about my feelings. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">If I were poetic I'd say the biggest puzzle I've always tried to unravel was myself.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">If I were an ass I'd say I'm just plain narcissic.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">If I were a realist...maybe I'd just say that it doesn't really matter, because your biggest audience is yourself, and I need to remind myself that even though I started a blog for someone else, I need to keep it going for myself. Even if it does make me seem self absorbed.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;">Hell. In every blog post I am essentially writing to myself *facepalm*</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">There's just days like these every month.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe they just happen to fall near that particular time of the month.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I know my life is one long, painful search to find something I'm passionate about, because at each and every stage of it, I thought I'd found it, only to find that it wasn't true.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And in every stage of it I hid behind the mundane routine hoping that one day I'll bump into something and it'll say on it on big, red, capital letters with neon signs "PASSION". And then I'll finally know what its like.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And until now it hasn't happen yet. I thought this was something people just were born with, or something they just like or love with all their hearts. I didn't know it took finding.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And even with finding, it still eludes you after 23 years.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I always envied people who went out and lived in the jungle to research animals and plants for National Geographic. I still do. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">When I was younger I wanted to be just like them, because they loved something so much, they were willing to spend their lives doing it. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">I envy Christians, even though I'd never admit it, because they believed in something so much, they were willing to spend their lives following it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Which, I note, is probably why, religion and I never really got along. I couldn't believe in it, like I couldn't believe in anything else. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Do you think perhaps when God made this little girl he left out a great chunk of Passion in her heart?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">She must somehow be defective.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Love, Joyce.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-61846863633344582672010-03-15T21:53:00.003+08:002010-03-15T22:07:05.187+08:00Have You Ever Been In Love?<div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Have you ever been in love</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you can touch the moonlight</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>when your heart is shooting stars</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you're holding heaven in your arms</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>have you even been in love?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Have you ever walked on air</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>ever felt like you were dreaming</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>when you never thought it could</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>but it really feels that good</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>have you ever been in love?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The time I spent</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>waiting for something that was heaven sent</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>when you find it don't let go</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I know</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Have you ever said a prayer</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>and found that it was answered</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>all my hope has been restored</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I ain't looking anymore</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>have you ever been so in love?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Some place that you ain't leaving</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>somewhere you're gonna stay</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>when you've finally found the meaning</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>have you ever felt this way?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The time I spent</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>waiting for something that was heaven sent</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>when you find it don't let go</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I know</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Cos have you ever been in love</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you could touch the moonlight</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you can even reach the stars</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>doesn't matter near or far</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>have you ever been in love</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>have you ever been in love?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>So in love </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: right;"><i>Have You Ever Been in Love</i></div><div style="text-align: right;"><i>Celine Dion</i></div><div style="text-align: right;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: right;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;">Heard this in the car on the way home.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Strangely, it really does feel that way, being in love.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I didn't notice it at all, but even though it's only been a while, </div><div style="text-align: center;">it already feels like we've been together for a long time.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Everything feels like it happened so long ago, so far away.</div><div style="text-align: center;">And just like how time really flies when he's around,</div><div style="text-align: center;">I swear it slows down to a crawl when he's not here.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Even though work keeps me busy, for which I am grateful,</div><div style="text-align: center;">I go about my day feeling like something is just missing.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Have you ever said a prayer, and found that it was answered?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">Of all the prayers I ever made, I'm so glad this one was heard.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Just trying to keep sane in the midst of calls </div><div style="text-align: center;">and trying to solve everyone else's problems.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It makes your own so much easier to ignore.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Love, Joyce.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-1636305352887532122010-03-13T21:32:00.006+08:002010-03-13T22:03:29.748+08:00Of Cars and Watches<div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Dear lonely isle,</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Haven't been posting pics for forever, but since I took them anyway, so.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Some new additions to the house~</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">First up, my <i>other</i> sayang.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6IuZjZeY1H42QNNw-XSZICGtnAoeGHl9TmUK4U03C7EkSw0e9iTChTznw78Gssf_t3RqTyn5TkzaJ2XE-G3WuEfsX7OLTla_BldsUjD_avUUR0XEHvU3gHUNM2g84XroED02L/s1600-h/DSC07090.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6IuZjZeY1H42QNNw-XSZICGtnAoeGHl9TmUK4U03C7EkSw0e9iTChTznw78Gssf_t3RqTyn5TkzaJ2XE-G3WuEfsX7OLTla_BldsUjD_avUUR0XEHvU3gHUNM2g84XroED02L/s400/DSC07090.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448112074274347138" /></a><div><div style="text-align: center;">I was going to say that its as cute as its owner</div><div style="text-align: center;">but you can already see that for yourself right?</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Big, round eyes, general roundness...</div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJvbQAxWSEm8kOzJqqT7mQQW_FGyBGWL1hyX1apCrqcY5poY3excH3__yEOFuMfkBLHGGhIBMBlgUsjWf9oPNkMB4oTJYy5ceNlLlsT674IzEDHFLbFVn5Uo-BFy1_3qvAP6ic/s1600-h/DSC07092.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJvbQAxWSEm8kOzJqqT7mQQW_FGyBGWL1hyX1apCrqcY5poY3excH3__yEOFuMfkBLHGGhIBMBlgUsjWf9oPNkMB4oTJYy5ceNlLlsT674IzEDHFLbFVn5Uo-BFy1_3qvAP6ic/s400/DSC07092.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448112554149755250" /></a><div style="text-align: center;">Want To Play?</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZlO1HAxEY2QLhjWmgUpsZ0qGxXtssBVgtKICCnCnpcLsCkA9FDrlavecGXR4pCNY9P28o1RCFXNcBfucUT9ZMqobnuCZxA8SqXlLHd2k5t6QekTiPj2RnjuABQXTm7c5xtJDC/s1600-h/DSC07093.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZlO1HAxEY2QLhjWmgUpsZ0qGxXtssBVgtKICCnCnpcLsCkA9FDrlavecGXR4pCNY9P28o1RCFXNcBfucUT9ZMqobnuCZxA8SqXlLHd2k5t6QekTiPj2RnjuABQXTm7c5xtJDC/s400/DSC07093.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448114988113340738" /></a><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">And something a little more pink, a new watch from my dad.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Haven't had a new watch in a looooooong time.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixA7x_OYtwTwh5XZX-wlpfAj8Ve1kTKkLlxW5IdOV82dRMp6DAyhn2ZEGWILisIEIH-Bf_kGg-zt4kEy_u6IoNi1esDbFUdjm-l2vduQwtWw1fy3biwg182BMTYKffkcEuODrd/s1600-h/DSC07095.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixA7x_OYtwTwh5XZX-wlpfAj8Ve1kTKkLlxW5IdOV82dRMp6DAyhn2ZEGWILisIEIH-Bf_kGg-zt4kEy_u6IoNi1esDbFUdjm-l2vduQwtWw1fy3biwg182BMTYKffkcEuODrd/s400/DSC07095.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448111142404015154" /></a><div style="text-align: center;">And because pink is so pretty,</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'll entertain you with one more shot of it.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyBjlGslxnxnhfYZJWvlXom5sOrZnKBEY_v7At5hScgQBulSC5AwcDbIcmiFxK7fxFLpPmFHxnKqgnIomy4JVY-MT6_FKmMpQPYydMy3ecZsLCuqzd7hvEEQMAGeb8u17yRYOm/s1600-h/DSC07096.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyBjlGslxnxnhfYZJWvlXom5sOrZnKBEY_v7At5hScgQBulSC5AwcDbIcmiFxK7fxFLpPmFHxnKqgnIomy4JVY-MT6_FKmMpQPYydMy3ecZsLCuqzd7hvEEQMAGeb8u17yRYOm/s400/DSC07096.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448111564054740658" /></a><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Cheers~</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Despite the fact that Astro has been a bitch lately </div><div style="text-align: center;">with the changes with Byond and making my life so difficult, some days aren't too bad.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">After all, you leave your work in your locker when you take your bag out to go home.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Just like you leave your headset and notes and jacket and water bottle.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Worries for tomorrow morning.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">:)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Love, Joyce.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-84407775784395133882010-03-10T22:41:00.004+08:002010-03-10T23:22:50.522+08:00Never Knew I Needed<div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>for the way you took the idea that I had</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>of everything that I wanted to have</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>and made me see there was something missing</i>.."</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Dear lonely isle,</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Today was one of those rare silent days on the train.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Not because there wasn't anyone talking, or that the train was particularly empty.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I simply forgot to charge my ipod, and had to endure the train ride staring at other people for amusement and entertainment on my way to and fro from work.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">On the train ride back I saw a particularly cute guy, but as life would have it, I'm not particularly a very cute girl. Or at least, not when I'm with my glasses and flats and jeans and plain collared tee.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Eye candy definitely, but I mostly only got to stare at the back of his head, and at his reflection in the window because as fate would have it, I happen to sit somewhat right behind him.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But he was of no matter, because the next guy who came in caught my attention.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">In fact, I can't even remember how he looks like. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But what he wore...oh what he wore. He looked so much like a particular someone I used to stare at. Or how that particular someone used to dress at that particular time in life when I used to spend a lot of time with him.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">That fedora, that collared tee, those khaki coloured shorts, and just those sneakers. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">It was so much like him, except that well, it wasn't, because I know for a fact that he's somewhere else at the moment.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And because silent moments are such that one thought leads to the next, I'm suddenly brought back to a particular conversation we had.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">He had asked, how would your dream guy be like?</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And I had answered, exactly like you, only perhaps taller.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And now I wonder how true had that been. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">After giving it some thought, I think I can say that it was definitely true then, and it is still true now. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The difference is that, I've had that dream guy, and I realized that sometimes what you want, isn't exactly what you need.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">We've all had that list of requirements when we were younger, the list of things we thought were good, all those qualities we wanted, all those traits we thought we needed.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And maybe we might have been wrong.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I know I was wrong.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>I know you're not my dream guy, and I know you know you aren't as well.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>But somehow, you're just everything that I want, without even me knowing it.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>I just know its you that I want.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I think I'm starting to believe more in my choices.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">If it feels right, it just somehow has to be. I don't know how or why yet, but somehow its just right.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Love, Joyce.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-40279434232611337562010-02-28T23:06:00.004+08:002010-02-28T23:15:35.406+08:00Fairytales Come True. Sometimes.<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Today was a fairy tale</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you were the prince</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I used to be the damsel in distress</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you took me by the hand and you picked me up at six</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>today was a fairy tale</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>today was a fairytale</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>today was a fairytale</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I wore a dress</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you wore a dark grey t-shirt</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>today was a fairytale</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>time slows down whenever you're around</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>but can you feel this magic in the air?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>it must have been the way you kissed me</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>fell in love when I saw you standing there</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>it must have been the way</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>today was a fairytale</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>it must have been the way</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>today was a fairytale.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;">Taylor Swift</div><div style="text-align: right;">Today Was A Fairytale</div><div style="text-align: right;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Despite the fact that reality could not be any further than this.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Perhaps, this helps.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Today</i> wasn't a fairytale, not by any stretch of imagination.</div><div style="text-align: center;">But I've had so many other days when I thought they were.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It felt like a dream.</div><div style="text-align: center;">They still do.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">A very pleasant, very beautiful dream.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm going to dream one tonight.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-29677776701904176992010-02-28T22:25:00.004+08:002010-02-28T22:52:04.349+08:00Blue Sunday<div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>raindrops keep fallin' on my head</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>and just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>nothing seems to fit</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>those raindrops keep fallin' on my head, they keep falling.."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Dear lonely isle,</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Out of desperation, I turn to you.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Something, is really annoying me.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And like a vague itch on your back which you can't see, it drives you crazy, even more so because you can't seem to find that exact spot to scratch.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Yes. Something is really annoying me.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I feel it like I feel something stuck between my teeth that I cannot seem to dislodge with my tongue and yet I find myself without toothpick, floss or toothbrush.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its the damn period.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its because I'm feeling like a whale. A leaky whale.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its because I fell asleep and woke up with the map of Australia on the back on my pants, and a matching motif on my bedsheet.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its because these cramps won't leave me alone, and can't quite decide where they want to settle down. I feel them everywhere. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its because I'm leaking worse than a dripping faucet you can't seem to turn off no matter how tight you twist the tap.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its because falling asleep seemed like a good idea at that time, when I shouldn't have, because waking up is like spinning the Wheel of Fortune.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">You'll never know what mood you might find yourself in when the dial stops.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its because I feel this slight pain in my nose, the kind you feel when you've breathed in water in the swimming pool. And I have no idea how I woke up with it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its sleeping with the lights on, because lights mess with your internal clock.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its just falling asleep before 9, and waking up before tomorrow. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its the prospect of waking up to an unexpected but very much needed call.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its the unexpected way it ended, leaving you feeling like something is wrong again.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its the fact that you just think too much, feel too much, and care too much.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its that twang you feel in your heart when you hear something you didn't want to hear.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its because you're so easily affected by his response.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its because you noticed how easily it affects you.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its because you're quite fed up that it changes how you feel faster than you can say "Shut up"</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its because even after everything you've tried, you're still annoyed.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And you don't know why.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its because food comforts you, and you want nothing to do with it at the moment. Whether its because the confounded ulcer just at the side of your mouth makes movements like speaking, pronouncing clearly, chewing, and maneuvering food into the mouth not only a time consuming hassle, but also a slow and painful process, or because you feel like the aforementioned whale earlier, and know you are, against your worst fears, putting on in mass.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Expanding in volume. Increasing in weight. Gaining in size. Becoming fatter.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And maybe its because one of the few things that make you feel better is going to make you feel much worse tomorrow, and perhaps its because you know this to be true.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And quite frankly, you're just too fed up, and you can't stop sneezing, and nothing seems to function the way it should.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And the worst part is, you don't seem to have had anything unpleasant happen today. For everything you've mentioned earlier, nothing seems to have been really bad. In fact, nothing was actually even remotely unpleasant. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes, when you're looking for that itch to scratch, you end up finding that you have no reason to itch at all.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I don't know. Something is wrong somewhere.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I don't know what, I don't know why, and I most certainly don't have a reason.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And quite frankly, I feel even worse now.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Love, Joyce.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-50420536087310634112010-01-29T23:15:00.005+08:002010-01-29T23:43:46.052+08:00Unwell<div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>for all of the times we've fought</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>for all of the things I'm not</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>don't care where we've been</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'd sink us to swim</i>.."</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Dear lonely isle,</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">These few days have been...a blur.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I feel like the days flew by, because its suddenly the weekend coming up to meet me again.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Or maybe I fell down, and this is reality coming the other way.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes I wake up feeling like I haven't slept.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And I know this is true, because I fall asleep when people are talking to me.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Perhaps a better way of putting it would be; when I'm listening to others.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">When I feel I can relax a little, I fall asleep.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The times I feel most alive is when I'm on the phone, when the beep comes in, telling me there's someone on the other end of the line needing my help.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And I live for those times. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">The moment I get off I feel as if I've turned off the power supply, and let myself run on hibernate.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Most of the time I feel like my poor abused laptop, forever on hibernate.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But hey, wasn't it my motto?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>When you feel you're spent, there's always a bit more of you to give</i>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And it seems that I'm not running out of pieces to give.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe the pieces are getting smaller, and a little frayed and tattered at the edges, but there's still more where its coming from. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I'm starting to feel that there's no such thing as enough sleep.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Because I'm always feeling so spent.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Some days I'm so tired I can't sleep.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Because I'm aching too much.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And every morning is hell.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe that's why I like the train rides.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Despite the fact that its a little too crowded, a little too cold, and a little too early, I need it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I need the time it takes for me to go to work, because I'd be feeling a lot better when I arrive.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Even on mornings when some car splashes water on you as it speeds past.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Even on mornings when you're sneezing non-stop in the train.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Even on mornings when your eyes are red, teary and painful, and you feel like there are a thousand elephants stampeding around in your head.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Because someone said to give even more when you have less to give.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I'm not sure how things are going to go.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Like how my laptop crashes when it burns up, I'm probably heading the same way.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But somehow I still feel that I'm heading in the right direction.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I just wish the rest of my body could feel the same way.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Or at least, be more supportive.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Love, Joyce. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-25141298132951477492010-01-21T02:24:00.004+08:002010-01-21T03:00:24.733+08:00Sleepwalking<div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>I can't turn this around,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I keep running into walls that I can't break down</i>.."</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Dear lonely isle,</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Let the sleepless nights begin.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Much as I should be in bed by now, and fast asleep, I'm not.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Much as my body is very tired, my brain seems to have found the strength to go on.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Much as I would hope for a good night's sleep, I believe that tonight is not that night.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Do you believe in destiny?</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I'll always believe that we make our own destiny.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">That even though something may be written in the stars, its up to us to pick up the pen.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And also up to us to continue following the writ to the letter.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I'll always believe that we fight for what we have today, here and now.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Because if there is something such as a destiny, and fate, that dictates the lives of men, I'd probably convert to one of the numerous faiths we have in the world, and pray that my destiny will chart me a course close to the waters I hope to tread. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">Because if truly we were always 'meant' for something, then perhaps there is no place left for hard work, and determination, and dedication, and honesty.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I think this would be the closest thing I have to a belief.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So what do you do, when life yet again, presents you with a choice?</div><div style="text-align: justify;">When it doth again, places before your plate, two selections?</div><div style="text-align: justify;">When it yet again, shows you a place in the woods where two paths diverge?</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Two roads from which there is no reverse or return.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe they lead up to the same path, maybe they lead down to entirely different circumstances.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">You don't know. You can't know.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">There's too many 'if's.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And too little 'how's.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Plenty of 'what's.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And too few 'why's.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And sorry I could not travel both</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And be one traveler, long I stood</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And looked down one as far as I could</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To where it bent in the undergrowth;</i></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Then took the other, as just as fair</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And having perhaps the better claim,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Because it was grassy and wanted wear;</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Though as for that, the passing there</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Had worn them really about the same,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And both that morning equally lay</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>In leaves no step had trodden black.</i></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Robert Frost made his choice.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Somehow, I'm going to have to make mine.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And I have no idea how.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">All this thinking cannot be good, if nothing comes out of it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I've taken out all my cards, even the ones I hid in my sleeve, in my pocket, and down my collar, and laid them out on the table.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Perhaps right now its still a rather private table, but nonetheless, I'm being honest.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And I've taken a good look at all of them, and tried to stare them down.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">But yet, like a poor tarot reader, I still can't make sense of what I see. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">I stare and I look, and I try sorting them into different piles.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I tried flipping some over, to uncomplicate the picture.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And still I've arrived at naught.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I know what I want. <i>But what I want is wrong</i>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Is it?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Despite everything, I feel like I'm back where I started months ago.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Somehow, even though I've traveled, I haven't progressed.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I realize that this is probably an easy decision to make, but I'm still hesitating at the crossroads.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Until now, you're still such a sore loser.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>You're afraid to take another step, for fear of what you might lose.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Coward.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Love, Joyce.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-29552546096406406862010-01-12T23:40:00.004+08:002010-01-13T00:32:16.754+08:00Blind Faith<div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>when life is a bitter pill to swallow</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you've got to hold on to what you believe</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>believe that the sun will shine tomorrow</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i> and that your saints and sinners bleed</i>.."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Dear lonely isle,</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Today someone said I seem to be enjoying the best in life.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I believe I do. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I didn't realize it, but I am.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I know it seems superficial to claim that I'm enjoying the best in life at only 22 years of age, with no work experience, no house or car to my name and with less money than I'd like in my bank. Also, did I mention I wasn't married?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But I believe that the best in life will always change. What may have seemed like the best five years ago, won't be the best now. And what is the best now, probably will have changed five years from now.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But right here, right now, where I'm standing, I'm definitely in love with the view.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And maybe I'm just a fool, because I know that things are going to be tough, but maybe while my brain has arrived at that conclusion, the rest of me hasn't realized it yet. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">And like a fool who sets sail to sea without looking at the map in hand, I can already foresee the dark skies and pouring rain in the journey ahead.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Yet, this fool is smiling. Because its a good day.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">In fact, the weather has been damn well fine for as long as he can remember.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">If this were a movie you'd just know that this ship is going to hit some rocks or shallow reef and end up a beached whale. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">But the fool behind the wheel knows that, if it does happen, that's okay.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes we can only plan where we want to go. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">We may very well end up in a completely different place altogether.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">The waters of the Ocean of Life oft times have a mind of their own, and they may decide to lead us down a different path.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>and somehow I know that it'll all turn out</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you'll make me work so we can work to work it out</i>.."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So. It's been fine weather so far.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And if we hit some rocks it's okay. Because if the ship sinks we'll just swim.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And if we hit the beach we'll make camp.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And if we drown, well. It's going to be a bigger adventure than I thought.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">But an adventure nonetheless.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>If the world ends tomorrow, we'll all be in heaven by then</i>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I used to believe in this, once upon a time.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And then somewhere along the way, I lost my faith.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I must have found it again, when I tripped and fell. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Whatever comes, comes. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always remember to bring your own sunshine</i>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Someone once told me this. I believe its the best advice for anything you aspire to do.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Right now, you're my sunshine</i>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I promise you, I'm going to make this work.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>just don't give up, I'm working this out</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>please don't give in, I won't let you down</i>.."</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Because you said to have faith in you.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">So I will.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">love, Joyce.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">PS: I'm reeking so much of positivity I'm not going to be able to stand myself soon.</div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-38800957782317153842010-01-05T22:36:00.003+08:002010-01-05T22:49:35.008+08:00Heaven Can Wait<div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Here's a song</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>for the nights I think too much</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>and here's a song</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>when I imagine us together</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>here's a song</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>for when we talk too much and I forget my words</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>heaven can wait</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>up high in the sky</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>it's you and I</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>heaven can wait</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>deep down in your eyes</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm yours tonight</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>lay your heart next to mine</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I feel so alive</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>tell me you want me to stay, forever</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>cos heaven can wait</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>here's a song</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>for the one who stole my heart</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>and ran so far </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>that cupid couldn't catch him</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>here's a song</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>for the girl who aims so high</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>she shot him down</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>heaven can wait</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>up high in the sky</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>it's you and I</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>heaven can wait</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>deep down in your eyes</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm yours tonight</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>lay your heart next to mine</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I feel so alive</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>tell me you want me to stay, forever</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>cos heaven can wait</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>here's a song</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>for the nights</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I drank too much and spilled my words</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>heaven can wait</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>up high in the sky</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>it's you and I</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>heaven can wait</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>deep down in your eyes</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm yours tonight</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>lay your heart next to mine</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I feel so alive</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>tell me you want me to stay, forever</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>cos heaven can wait</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>cos heaven can wait.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: right;">We The Kings</div><div style="text-align: right;">Heaven Can Wait</div><div style="text-align: right;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-90464041463399474672009-12-23T21:15:00.004+08:002009-12-23T21:48:48.135+08:00Christmas Medley<div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>I'd like to make myself believe,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>that planet earth turns slowly,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>its hard to say I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>because my dreams are bursting at the seams</i>.."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Dear lonely isle,</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Is it odd to be so very tired at the end of the day but feel completely satisfied?</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Is it odd to wake up feeling so tired but at the same time so ready to face the new day?</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Is it odd to wake up smiling?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: center; ">"..<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">got this feeling that you can't fight,</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">like this city is on fire tonight,</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">this could really be a good life</span></i>.."</div><div style="text-align: center; "><br /></div><div style="text-align: center; "><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Is it odd that I'm so happy?</div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Perhaps its just the start, maybe I'm not worn out yet.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">But I should be, yet I don't feel so.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I remember the days I had during my practical, and how different they were, despite the fact that I had more sleep, and lesser working hours, and much lesser workload. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">I remember dreading to wake up every morning.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I remember dreading to go to work.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I remember dreading being at work.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">While I'm convinced that everything is light and airy because its new, I can't help but to feel that something is different.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I don't know if this is a new perspective that I'm adding to the list of things that define me, or if its the false promise of the shiny new. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Even if it is, it's holding up so far, and I've really never been happier.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">What I do know though, is that I'm definitely in way over my head, and paddling further and further away from the shore. Consciously.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">"..<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">suddenly I'm in too deep to ever get out,</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I gave you my heart and soul to keep,</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">don't give me your doubts,</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'm in over my head and its scaring me so</span></i>.."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">If this is what being in too deep is, I'm ready to dive head first.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I know its not too late to turn back yet, but I have only eyes for straight ahead.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>There's some things I realized that I can't lose.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Now that you've made your bed, you're gonna have to lie in it.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Somehow, even though its a little messier than I'd like, scary because its unpredictable, and so very different and sounds like a mistake, there's really nowhere else I'd rather be right now.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">"..<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">and I still can't believe that you came up to me and said,</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">'I love you'</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I love you too</span></i>.."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Than here in my room, dreaming about you and me. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Love, Joyce.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-29928546802375211812009-12-13T21:26:00.005+08:002009-12-13T21:51:17.550+08:00Day Fourteen<div style="text-align: center;">'..<i>I'll forget the world that I knew</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>but I swear I won't forget you<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; ">.."</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Dear lonely isle,</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It came sooner than I expected.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I guess it had to happen. Sooner though, rather than later like I thought it would.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But I guess its normal.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Is it?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Human emotions are messy, unpredictable, and above all, stupid.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">The human heart is really quite unfathomable.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Yet we rely on it so much, or at least I do. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It's just a phase.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes your heart takes some time to catch up with your brain.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Or is it perhaps the other way around?</div><div style="text-align: justify;">That your brain is only now receiving signals your heart has been sending out for some time already?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe its the latter...the heart has always been more perceptive than its counterpart in the upper regions.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Which is probably why posts like these only come under the heading of Day Fourteen, rather than Day Three or Four.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But it's just a silent whisper.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Background noise to the screaming static that is my life.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Except that now the static has dissolved into silence, and the silence spreads over your ears like a blanket, muffling out all other sounds.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And the silence is deafening.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But it's all good.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I like it like this.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Its just...a little murmur that I need to block out.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And sometimes when its really quiet you can hear everything.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I think I'm getting better at this.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">It may not always be the best policy, but its important to at least be it with yourself.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Love, Joyce.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-28923983463890897862009-12-09T00:56:00.005+08:002009-12-09T01:35:52.203+08:00Day Ten<div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>I'm sorry I can't be perfect</i>.."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Dear lonely isle,</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>You can't please everybody. The best you can do, is to please yourself.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I can't remember where I heard that line before, or where I might have read it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">But I do remember learning that lesson some time ago in Sabah.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Perhaps, I may have remember wrongly.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Or mayhaps I've forgotten it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I learnt it again tonight.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe it has to do with me being the kind of person I am.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Despite the fact that I am sometimes a bitch, and that I don't really care much about what other people may think, still, deep, deep, down inside, I guess I was, I am and I will always be, a people pleaser.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">If there was ever a person built for democracy, it would be me. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">I thrive on consensus, and actually tend to make decisions that way.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Besides Joyce, there is also Joyce, whom I rely on for conversation and repartee, and then there's also Joyce, Joyce and Joyce, and we all vote on decisions.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Which probably explains why I'm so fickle-minded when I'm alone, and can be indecisive to a fault. I probably can't decide on something to save my life.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But then again, ever the master of contradiction, I do enjoy dictator-style decision-making under certain circumstances. Usually when I already have an idea in mind, or a particular way I'd like things done, and always, when perfection is required.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I guess most of us are like that in more ways than one.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">In spite of everything that I am, and everything that I may seem, I do seem to have been made without the confident self-assurance that some people were born with.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Try as I might, I cannot escape the need for approval.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Being an impulsive person, I tend to act without regard to what others may think, yet I constantly seek approval and support.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And these are the people for whom I cry for, because their approval means more to me than anything, and their support is my reason for existence. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Raison d'etre. </i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>You've never admitted, even to yourself, how much they mean to you, but looking back at your life, you realize that everything you've done, has always been for them.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>And that was something even you had failed to notice.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes, you just need to learn to live for yourself.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And to just be, in anything you do, for yourself.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>You can't live your life for someone else. The most you can do, is live it for you.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Whoever they were, they were right. Working life is definitely a new experience.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Already I'm learning something new everyday.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I hate to admit this, but I'm probably a very slow learner. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">I'm only beginning to catch up on what others have realized years and years ago.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Still, it's never too late, and it's better late than never.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Love, Joyce.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-61468898366908359592009-12-07T07:52:00.005+08:002009-12-07T08:10:26.685+08:00Day Eight<div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>are you desperate to find something more</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>before your life is over?</i>.."</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Dear lonely isle,</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes you feel the dread of the confrontation even before it happens.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Conflict solving, regretfully, isn't one of my strong points. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The weight of the problem hangs on your shoulders, but yet you daren't unload it, for fear that it may cause a dent, or worse yet, a hole in the floor.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And everyone'd have to stand around staring at the hole feeling awkward for a few days while you wait for the repairmen to come and fix it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But at the same time, you wonder why is it so hard to face.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And sometimes, you find help when you didn't expect it, in the last place you thought of looking.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And you are grateful.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">To say that I am worried is probably an understatement.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It's ironic how we were always told to do what we didn't want to, or what we should do, even if it made us unhappy, because it was 'for our own good', and then growing up and learning that you shouldn't do it anymore. As a matter of fact, you should go as far as to do what you want to do, and make yourself happy (within reason an without hurting others, of course).</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The inconsistency, or should I say, the breaking of the routine, the normal, the consistent, is driving me up the wall. Even worse because its a state of being, a mindset. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It was always what I <i>should</i> do, rather than what I <i>want</i> to do. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">Now, I'm revising that line of thought.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It took a long time to get here.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Now that I am here, I'm left wondering what can I do.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And more importantly, am I making a mistake?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Love, Joyce.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-18579975912959998352009-12-05T18:59:00.006+08:002009-12-05T20:02:47.156+08:00Day Six<div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>can you meet me halfway,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>right at the borderline,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>that's where I'm going to wait, for you</i>.."</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Dear lonely isle,</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Whenever we needed something, we went out and shopped for it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">What if what you needed was a man?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>How does one shop for a man?</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Unlike the inanimate, unalive dress, shoes or bag that a woman buys, a man is somewhat different.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">For one, before you can bring him home as a purchase you've first got to get him to agree to that particular proposition. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>So how does one get a man to say yes to 'I do'?</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Like any other merchandise in Malaysia, choosing the wrong man will result in much unpleasantness in the attempt to get your money refunded, which is unlikely to say the least.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">That aside, how do you know which man to choose?</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Unlike clothes, shoes and bags, again, a man is hardly something you can buy several of to, you know, to change as and when the occasion demands. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">The law states that one woman can purchase only one man at any one time. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Assuming I am to be a law-abiding citizen on this, how does one choose the man? (Of course, bear in mind that the man has to be conned into choosing you as well, so self-selling is of vital importance)</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Do you buy the first shirt that you see?</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So asks my mom all the time.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">The shopping rationale behind this is very true, as most shoppers know. Sometimes we purchase something a little too quickly and find out later on that we made a rash choice because good things come to girls who wait.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But then again, sometimes the right choice merely depends on timing.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Something that didn't suit us then, may suit our fancy now.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">As our mentality and needs change, so do our choices.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Something which may have been good for us back then, may have become the wrong choice now.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I guess, the same goes about men.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So how did our mothers do it? Finding the right man, the one whom we refer to right now as 'dad', or 'daddy', or 'father', or whatever it is that girls call their fathers these days.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">At some point in life we need to stop choosing, and pick one already. And then bring it home and try to live with it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But as every shopper also knows, despite the first shirt question above, sometimes we do find the first shirt to be the right one. And sometimes, we realize this after we've gone into every other store and seen all the other ones available. Perhaps there really was something about it that caught your eye the first time you saw it. And then, when we've finally decided to go and get it, after a lot of thinking, consideration and heartache (from parting with money), we find that it was already sold to the lady in red (or blue, or black, or green, insert your favourite colour, whatever, it doesn't matter. That lady isn't you.)</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And then what do you do?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">To say that you should have bought it sooner is rather unfair, as you were just being prudent.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And when it comes to shopping for a man, which you can only marry one at a time, being prudent is the most prudent thing one can do.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>But what if you think you know he's the right one?</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes we do get these little...signs, feelings, hunches, intuition, that this is it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">And we can't always be sure if we can trust it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Then there's also the matter of convincing the dearly beloved other half (the purchase-to-be) to agree to your insane idea of marriage, and then from there, to convince both sets of parents that it isn't complete and utter madness.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It's just one of those things that seem incredibly and totally ridiculous to both yourself and your parents, but is actually rather normal for someone of your age.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It's just one of those things that seem incredibly far off to yourself, when in fact, you know that it should be incredibly, and probably uncomfortably, near, as an outsider looking in.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It's just one of those things.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>I saw a bridal fair today.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>When the lady at the counter asked if I was going to get married soon, I couldn't help but to answer yes.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Maybe the biological clock is ticking, and I'm finally hearing its cry of alarm.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Or, maybe I am right and this is it.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Am I scaring you yet? </i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>If you plan to run away, let me go with you.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Love, Joyce.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-32340708810063018312009-12-04T19:50:00.002+08:002009-12-04T19:57:49.140+08:00Day Five<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I remember what you wore on the first day</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you came into my life and I thought hey,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you know, this could be something</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>'cause everything you do and words you say</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you know that it all takes my breath away</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>and now I'm left with nothing</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>so maybe it's true</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>that I can't live without you</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>and maybe two, is better than one</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>but there's so much time</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>to figure out the rest of my life</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>and you've already got me coming undone</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>and I'm thinking two, is better than one</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I remember every look upon your face</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>the way you roll your eyes, the way you say</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you make it hard for breathing</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>'cause when I close my eyes and drift away</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I think of you and everything's okay</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm finally now believing</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>That maybe its true</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>that i can't live without you</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>and maybe two, is better than one</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>there's so much time</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>to figure out the rest of my life</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>and you've already got me coming undone</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>and I'm thinking</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I can't live without you</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>'cause baby two, is better than one.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>there's so much time</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>to figure out the rest of my life</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>but I figured out with all that's said and done</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Two is better than one.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;">Boys Like Girls feat. Taylor Swift</div><div style="text-align: right;">Two is Better than One</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-87985557311518750172009-12-04T18:52:00.007+08:002009-12-04T20:02:00.410+08:00<div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>the hope we have </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>is so much to feel good about</i>.."</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Dear lonely isle,<div><br /></div><div>Its the quietest its ever been in here.</div><div>The silence is calm, soothing.</div><div><br /></div><div>I could really get used to this.</div><div><br /></div><div>For once, its not filled with the roar of mumbled thoughts and whispered worries.</div><div>For once, it feels really good to be alone.</div><div><br /></div><div>For once, I am me, and I'm alone inside my head.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sometimes I wonder how I got from there to here, from then to now.</div><div>It used to be the city that never sleeps, now its just a lonely island.</div><div>Quiet, and contented.</div><div><br /></div><div>As I go about my life, through the motions, the routine and the bustle of training, its the same, and yet its different.</div><div>Maybe because it feels different on the inside.</div><div>Sometimes I get really tired at the end of the day, but no matter how busy it felt, inside I was the tourist on the hammock, reading my favourite book, relaxing by the beach on the lonely island.</div><div><br /></div><div>There are still little worries and insecurities that nag at me, but they're just quiet murmurs in the vast white emptiness that is now my mind. And right in the middle, is a small patch of blue, a calm spot of sea, with a single island in the middle.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'd like to believe that this is what meditation feels like.</div><div>What a zen state of mind feels like.</div><div>What it truly means to look into the Mirror of Erised, and see just your reflection.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'd like to think that I'm truly happy right now.</div><div><br /></div><div>And part of it is being able to be me, and just me.</div><div><br /></div><div>If it were any old me, I'd wish that this could last.</div><div>Right now, even if I said it, I don't think I can mean it, because I'm really contented with the moment, and the next, and the one after that, and each one that follows.</div><div><br /></div><div>Even so, I'm still very much me, and still very much a worrywart more than ever, with not-so-subtle hints of paranoia.</div><div><br /></div><div>Who else can be perfectly contented, and worry that something might be wrong with them for feeling this way?</div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe there really is something wrong with me.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Love, Joyce.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-34625047386693589322009-12-01T07:44:00.002+08:002009-12-01T07:55:25.378+08:00Day Two<div style="text-align: center;">"..<i>h</i><i>earts break, hearts mend,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>love still hurts</i>.."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Dear lonely isle,</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Reality is like a slow, cold wash of dirty water, thrown into your face as you alight from the steps leading from your house of refuge.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So you stay in.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And pray that everything is just you being paranoid, and that the worst is yet to come.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">But what you fail to realize is that the worst was already over. And that was the part about acceptance.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Now comes the part of living with consequences.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But the full realization of your loss has yet to hit you. Perhaps in days, weeks, months to come, the ghosts of the dearly departed past would come back to haunt you, but for now, you're just glad that you're not alone.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes in losing one thing, we gain...something else.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes we gain more than we deserve.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And the little person in side wonders if there is karma and retribution at the end of this.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Because after everything wrong you've done, you wonder if you did something right.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">What if you did? </div><div style="text-align: justify;">Oh, but what if you didn't? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Still.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">When your gut tells you you're on to something good, do you believe them?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>I do</i>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Breathe. There's so many more days to go.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">love, Joyce.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-44840366593590831092009-11-30T08:03:00.003+08:002009-12-01T08:01:33.408+08:00Day One<div style="text-align: center;">For those days we felt like a mistake</div><div style="text-align: center;">Those times when love's what you hate</div><div style="text-align: center;">Somehow</div><div style="text-align: center;">We keep marching on</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">For those nights that I couldn't be there</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've made it harder to know that you know</div><div style="text-align: center;">That somehow</div><div style="text-align: center;">We'll keep moving on</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">There's so many wars we've fought</div><div style="text-align: center;">There's so many things we're not</div><div style="text-align: center;">But with what we have</div><div style="text-align: center;">I promise you that</div><div style="text-align: center;">We're marching on</div><div style="text-align: center;">We're marching on</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">For all of the plans we've made</div><div style="text-align: center;">There isn't a flag I'd wave</div><div style="text-align: center;">Don't care where we've been</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'd sink us to swim</div><div style="text-align: center;">We're marching on</div><div style="text-align: center;">We're marching on</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">For those doubts that swirl all around us</div><div style="text-align: center;">For those lives that tear at the seams</div><div style="text-align: center;">We know</div><div style="text-align: center;">We're not what we've seen</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">For this dance we move around each other</div><div style="text-align: center;">There ain't no other step</div><div style="text-align: center;">Than one foot </div><div style="text-align: center;">Right in front of the other</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Right right right right left</div><div style="text-align: center;">Right right right right left</div><div style="text-align: center;">Right right right right marching on</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">We'll have the days we break</div><div style="text-align: center;">And we'll have the scars to prove it</div><div style="text-align: center;">We'll have the bomb that we've saved</div><div style="text-align: center;">And we'll have the heart not to lose it</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">For all the times we've stopped</div><div style="text-align: center;">For all the things I'm not</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">You put one foot in front of the other</div><div style="text-align: center;">You know that we ain't got no other</div><div style="text-align: center;">We go we go where we go</div><div style="text-align: center;">We're marching on</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Marching on.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;">One Republic</div><div style="text-align: right;">Marching On</div><div style="text-align: right;"><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-11760043655568895692009-08-21T20:24:00.002+08:002009-08-21T21:19:37.460+08:00Vineyard in My Backyard<div style="text-align: justify;">Dear lonely isle,<br /><br />Presently, I am a grape farmer.<br />It is a job that largely consists of tedious repetitions of duties and strict routines, largely along the lines of waking up at godly hours, procrastinating whenever possible and house chores, done whenever situation permits, which, fortunately does not happen often enough.<br /><br />Then there is also the title of Garbage of Society to shoulder, and as titles go, with all the responsibilities to go with it. Thankfully, the title is not a cumbersome one, but the responsibilities of being society's Garbage can be daunting at times, requiring one to attempt to sleep till noon every day (weekends are a must, unfortunately) and attend to Facebook games immediately upon waking. Then there is also the matter of spending money and going out whenever possible, an article of faith to be followed to the letter.<br /><br />However, as with any job, being a grape farmer can be hazardous to one's person. There is the constant ongoing danger of having to battle poor sleep and fats accumulating on one's self due to inactivity. Also, the chore of having to constantly file off the rust settling on one's limbs due to lack of use is getting to be vexing from tedious repetition. Being a grape farmer also requires one to possess a strong stomach to withstand the stench of brains slowly rotting as thought is seldom required throughout a day's work.<br /><br />But it's all in a day's work for a grape farmer such as myself.<br /><br />Harvest promises to be fun, I imagine.<br /><br />love, Joyce.<br /><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-1926049717310347392009-08-07T21:08:00.003+08:002009-08-07T21:20:54.613+08:00Run<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">I'll sing it one last time for you</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">then we really have to go</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">you've been the only thing that's right</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">in all I've done</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">And I can barely look at you</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">but every single time I do</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I know we'll make it anywhere</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">away from here</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Light up, light up</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">as if you have a choice</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">even if you cannot hear my voice</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I'll be right beside you, dear</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Louder, louder</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">and we'll run for our lives</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I can hardly speak, I understand</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">why you can't raise your voice to say</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">To think I might not see those eyes</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">makes it so hard not to cry</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">and as we say our long goodbyes</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I nearly do</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Light up, light up</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">as if you have a choice</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">even if you cannot hear my voice</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I'll be right beside you, dear</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Louder, louder</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">and we'll run for our lives</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I can hardly speak, I understand</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">why you can't raise your voice to say.</span><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: right; font-style: italic;">Run<br />Leona Lewis<br /></div><br /><br /></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13332225.post-76868499183666949052009-07-28T20:01:00.003+08:002009-07-28T20:12:55.863+08:00GIMMEDear Person Up There,<br /><br />I know, deep down inside, you have some small, perhaps very very small, but still a spot in the soft pump-like organ you possess under your ribcage, for me.<br /><br />I know this because, I am praying fervently that confidence can take the place of certainty.<br /><br />So....<span style="font-size:180%;">GIMME! </span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrn-9WSeENoDtSTJjW8SFgnlHSG_2BGZEOeHGGe7CP6jKXW76Lf9cO6kakC4k3qca2xT0TUYe5chbXIohbpFJBkGl6Pt9xozI5vxCACH_IcpN-HAveknu6CezpxrAeAtM_REoW/s1600-h/n25536.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 316px; height: 377px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrn-9WSeENoDtSTJjW8SFgnlHSG_2BGZEOeHGGe7CP6jKXW76Lf9cO6kakC4k3qca2xT0TUYe5chbXIohbpFJBkGl6Pt9xozI5vxCACH_IcpN-HAveknu6CezpxrAeAtM_REoW/s400/n25536.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363480599206939122" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;">I WANT!</span><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmXAbgZJ-TL7MVC1rZ4AMVhpr738uvmWE7yUaC-wzEOA8OncyRpybdciOzCsdbqCUc5x7gDEyQIbiY5OknFD6q1HiRijr2r-yuTngszMCIJ53zfsKwaIhbcinc8Xw2SOlarGzc/s1600-h/112828629gRMoHx_ph.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmXAbgZJ-TL7MVC1rZ4AMVhpr738uvmWE7yUaC-wzEOA8OncyRpybdciOzCsdbqCUc5x7gDEyQIbiY5OknFD6q1HiRijr2r-yuTngszMCIJ53zfsKwaIhbcinc8Xw2SOlarGzc/s400/112828629gRMoHx_ph.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363480509360764514" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">MINEEEEEEEE~<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></span><div style="text-align: justify;">Thanking you in advance.<br /><br />Amen.<br /><br />Joyce.<br /><br /></div><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"></span></span></div>joYcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392891532856494311noreply@blogger.com0