Lost

"..Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep

and doesn't know where to find them

Leave them alone and they'll come home

bringing their tails behind them.."

Sometimes I feel like one of her sheep. Despite the fact that I have herd mentality I also have this insane and annoying ability of getting lost.

Yes it is true. I have the sense of direction of a bat with a broken sonar.

Uncanny knack for getting lost in the literal sense aside, I also tend to get lost in all sorts of other ways as well.

Lost in thought, lost in emotions, lost in decisions, really, the list can go on.

I must have been born with a broken compass, in every sense of the word.

How is it that some people are always so sure of themselves, no matter what, how or where they find themselves to be?

How is it that some people are as sure-footed and as stable as cats, always, always landing on their feet whenever they fall, no matter the height?

Why is it that most of us are born without the natural grace and elegance of a gifted few?

I, for one, have always managed, with a hundred percent success rate, to fall flat on my face every time I trip. It's somehow like Murphy's Law. There is an unwritten rule somewhere that says whenever Joyce falls down, its always facedown, preferably in a puddle of mud. Probably because she tripped over her own feet.

If at anytime at all, should you delight in watching me go to pieces, the answer is simple; give me a choice.

Its a surefire way to watch me unravel at the seams and slowly come undone.

Its quite simple, anyone will tell you choices are better than none. People always want to choose. At anytime you want to distract someone, make them feel like they're in power; you give them a choice, and let them choose.

I've always felt that choices are double-edged swords, and either way you're going to get cut. Its sad to say, but its probably true that I've always preferred to follow than to lead. Whenever it came to the choice between the greater good or to let everyone die nobly, I will probably go down in history as the most useless leader, by allowing voting to happen.

Even when I know what I want I can barely make a decision, when I don't know what I want, a simple choice can reduce me to tears.

Confidence, confidence. I seem to be missing you lately.

Wherefore art thou?

Love, Joyce.