"..raindrops keep fallin' on my head
and just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
nothing seems to fit
those raindrops keep fallin' on my head, they keep falling.."
Dear lonely isle,
Out of desperation, I turn to you.
Something, is really annoying me.
And like a vague itch on your back which you can't see, it drives you crazy, even more so because you can't seem to find that exact spot to scratch.
Yes. Something is really annoying me.
I feel it like I feel something stuck between my teeth that I cannot seem to dislodge with my tongue and yet I find myself without toothpick, floss or toothbrush.
Maybe its the damn period.
Maybe its because I'm feeling like a whale. A leaky whale.
Maybe its because I fell asleep and woke up with the map of Australia on the back on my pants, and a matching motif on my bedsheet.
Maybe its because these cramps won't leave me alone, and can't quite decide where they want to settle down. I feel them everywhere.
Maybe its because I'm leaking worse than a dripping faucet you can't seem to turn off no matter how tight you twist the tap.
Maybe its because falling asleep seemed like a good idea at that time, when I shouldn't have, because waking up is like spinning the Wheel of Fortune.
You'll never know what mood you might find yourself in when the dial stops.
Maybe its because I feel this slight pain in my nose, the kind you feel when you've breathed in water in the swimming pool. And I have no idea how I woke up with it.
Maybe its sleeping with the lights on, because lights mess with your internal clock.
Maybe its just falling asleep before 9, and waking up before tomorrow.
Maybe its the prospect of waking up to an unexpected but very much needed call.
Maybe its the unexpected way it ended, leaving you feeling like something is wrong again.
Maybe its the fact that you just think too much, feel too much, and care too much.
Maybe its that twang you feel in your heart when you hear something you didn't want to hear.
Maybe its because you're so easily affected by his response.
Maybe its because you noticed how easily it affects you.
Maybe its because you're quite fed up that it changes how you feel faster than you can say "Shut up"
Maybe its because even after everything you've tried, you're still annoyed.
And you don't know why.
Maybe its because food comforts you, and you want nothing to do with it at the moment. Whether its because the confounded ulcer just at the side of your mouth makes movements like speaking, pronouncing clearly, chewing, and maneuvering food into the mouth not only a time consuming hassle, but also a slow and painful process, or because you feel like the aforementioned whale earlier, and know you are, against your worst fears, putting on in mass.
Expanding in volume. Increasing in weight. Gaining in size. Becoming fatter.
And maybe its because one of the few things that make you feel better is going to make you feel much worse tomorrow, and perhaps its because you know this to be true.
And quite frankly, you're just too fed up, and you can't stop sneezing, and nothing seems to function the way it should.
And the worst part is, you don't seem to have had anything unpleasant happen today. For everything you've mentioned earlier, nothing seems to have been really bad. In fact, nothing was actually even remotely unpleasant.
Sometimes, when you're looking for that itch to scratch, you end up finding that you have no reason to itch at all.
I don't know. Something is wrong somewhere.
I don't know what, I don't know why, and I most certainly don't have a reason.
And quite frankly, I feel even worse now.
Love, Joyce.
