Thank You

My tea's gone cold
I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain cloud's up my window
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it would all be grey
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad
It's not so bad

drank too much last night
I've bills to pay
My head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell to pay
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there they'll all imply
That I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad
It's not so bad, and

I, want to thank you
For giving me the best day of my life
Oh, just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life

Push the door I'm home at last
And I'm soaking through and through
Then you handed me a towel
And all I see is you
And even if my house falls down now
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me, and

I, want to thank you
For giving me the best day of my life
Oh, just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life.

Dido
Thank you

Thank you baby. Thank you for everything. For the comfort after the longest, worst days, and for the love on the emptiest and loneliest of nights.

I love you.

Thank you.

Study Days

How my table looks like nowadays. Yea, it's messy. I noticed.


Raoul & Raoul2 watching me study :)


Food supply running low, study materials increasing. Sigh.


I love them >.<>

Convo Week

Dear lonely isle,

This week is a supposedly holiday for UMS-ians here because of the intrusion of a certain event known as Convo Week. Last year seniors look forward to this day as a working man waits for Friday. Liberation Day. Of course it's a time when all sorts of advertisements will appear at bus stops, hallways and wherever people are allowed to stick paper >.<

And it's also the time of the year for what is known as Tamu Gadang, big pasar malam held for the whole day for a week. Probably so UMS-ians will go out and spend more money on food and nonsensical things *guilty*

And wherever there's huge crowds, there's also........

The Red Cresent Society >.<

Sigh, it's one of the dumbest idea I've heard, but I find lots of things dumb as it is, so I don't think I'm allowed an opinion on this >.<

Well all Red Cresent members have to duty for 8 hours a day for 2 days in Convo Week. Which would make it a total 16 hours. In case people faint at huge pasar malams. Yeah, I know. Dumb.

So my shifts are from 3pm to 11pm on Wednesday and Friday night. (took the night shift. No choice.)

PBSM duty again. Note to all people. If ever you need assistance because you feel unwell, avoid us. WE ARE UNTRAINED >.<. I only know how to bandage heads, and arms with a cloth I don't bring around.

Eh hem, so longer duty hours mean spending more time at Tamu Gadang, and possibly more food to eat >.<>

A mutated tortoise >.<

Micu, Raoul2 & Bobo.

Aren't they so adorably cute!!!!!! Micu is Mei Kuan's, Bobo belongs to Bee Siah, and no prize for guessing who's the owner of Raoul2 :P

Other events on that night was the Merdeka Countdown. There were fireworks :) So beautiful. But my phone died, cos was talking too long to my baby so I couldn't record it T_T

Sat the ambulance back to the hostel again >.<>.<

Got back at 1. Took a bath and washed my face. Then the electricity went out. Sigh. Nothing new here. Then when it cam back on, what did I find?

A cockroach sitting on my toothbrush.

Just left the cupboard open for awhile...Why does these things always happen to me? Why is my room the target of seemingly endless attacks from cockroaches night after night? Why is it that I'm SO GODDAMN TERRIFIED OF THEM?

If I ever were to run back home, there's no need to ask why, it's the goddamn cockroaches.

Raoul & Raoul2 getting along :)

Sigh, duty again later at 3pm. Not looking forward to it :(

love, joyce.

Happy Day

Dear lonely isle,

This Tuesday I went for another outing in KK :)

Yes, yes I know I should be studying, what with exams coming and all, but we all need a break once in awhile, no? Better yet, when my parents called and I told them about it, they were like, good good, go out more. Don't study so hard. Relax >.<

Sometimes I think I worry more than they do.

And, going out would mean eating better food!! :)

Also, I needed to buy more groceries, as I'm running low.

Err, but what happened was, I bought un-grocery stuff >.<

My new bag :) Couldn't resist.


Back view

Side view

Bought a skirt too :)

Came back estatically happy ;) What can I say, girls like shopping. Hehe, spend money, wallet empty but heart happy >.<

Then I realised I forgot to get my groceries >.<

Yes, yes, insaf di. No need to berate me anymore :P

love, joyce.

UMS Student Threatened By Bankruptcy

Dear lonely isle,

My money is flying away. Everyday it seems more and more of my money packs its bags and leaves me, without even waving goodbye.

It seems that every now and then I'm forced to fork out money for photostating and meaningless contributions to various bodies and organizations for one reason or another, sometimes in the hoax of buying a shirt we were later told isn't really compulsory, but since we already paid, oh well what the heck eh? Say the seniors. God knows how many times they've conned my money. Or maybe for their Family Day outing which it is compulsory for juniors to pay for the major part of their expenses, but not compulsory for us to go >.<

What kind of sick person decided that?

Someone who probably has a lot of my money... the bastard.

So every week I find myself making trips to the one of the hottest spots in the campus besides the toilet. The ATM machine. Seriously, if you want to withdraw money without waiting for half an hour before you can, go at nine. Any later you can be prepared to queue until your hair turns white. And this is a normal occurance, EVERY DAMN DAY. Makes you think how UMS students are ALWAYS short of money, especially the juniors. Went to the ATM like twice this week already, going to be bankrupt soon. So I think it's wise to start my petition now.

Dear concerned friends and various people who are fortunate enough to hear my plight,

I will probably be bankrupt soon. Now's your chance to do you bit for society *cough* me *cough*.

Take some time off to send me some money :D All contributions must be made to

No. 3.03, Block B,

Kampung D, Kolej Kediaman CD,

Universiti Malaysia Sabah,

Beg berkunci 2073,

88999, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah.

Please take note that all contributions should be addressed to Miss Jocelyn Toh, and the minimum amout is RM100. (for my baby it's RM200. You love me don't you? :) )

~Help save me before it's too late!~

Below are pics of my new phone cover. It was too cute. I couldnt resist. And don't worry it's only RM5 :P

Yes, yes I know I shouldn't waste money, but I needed it?

Ok, ok, I WANTED it :P

A coursemate told me the chinese word means 'soup'. Is this true? Because I love soup. And happen to be soup depraved. So for those of you who are fortunate to enjoy soup, count your blessings and mail some to the address given above. Thanks! I know you love me :)

And I don't understand why do I seem to be targeted by cockroaches. Got attacked by another one last night. T_T I now have a new hero. Her name is Fatimah. She is my roommate. She saves me from roaches :)

Exams coming... just kill me..

love, joyce.

Terlalu Istimewa

Ku tak tergambar wajahmu

Sinar mata itu

lirik senyumanmu

pesona yang membelai

wajahmu bercahaya

memberi bahagia

tiap yang memandang

hati jadi salju

kau terlalu istimewa

kasih dan sayangmu terpancar

seikhlas tiada batasan

terus membara

terkilan rasa jiwa

ingin ku lihat mu dewasa

apa daya

Tuhan lebih menyayangimu

ku pasti kau berbahagia

duduk di sampingnya

mendengar cerita

sekadar rahsia

kau terlalu istimewa

kasih dan sayangmu terpancar

seikhlas tiada batasan

terus membara

terkilan rasa jiwa

ingin ku lihatmu dewasa

apa daya

Tuhan lebih menyayangimu

tak tertanggung rindu

mendengar suaramu

tawa mengusik jiwa

oh..

terpancar

seikhlas tiada batasan

terus membara

terkilan rasa jiwa

ingin ku melihatmu dewasa

apa daya

Tuhan lebih menyayangimu

Terlalu Istimewa

Adibah Noor

The Sock Remover

Bee Siah, Mei Kuan & me.

PBSM duty on Sunday.

Dear lonely isle,

Had PBSM duty yesterday. In case you didn't know, I joined the red cresent society.

Because I was told by seniors it's easy to score >.<

Haha what? You think I turned a new leaf? Anyway, yesterday was sports day between kolejs. As usual, my kolej managed to place last. I think.

There was lots of running, people falling down, injuring themselves, getting cramps, aches, and god knows what else. Thank god more experienced PBSM peopl were there. I would have just stood there and said "er." So what I did yesterday was remove people's socks and shoes so that the seniors can massage and do whatever it is they do. And yea, I just didn;t think about the fact that they just completed a run, or finished a race and peeled away the socks. The seniors had to massage, bandage, ice and do other ickier stuff than taking their shoes off. They're quite efficient. I can see that they probably do this on a daily basis.

Voluntarily massaging sweaty people. Some people are too noble for their own good.

And even if I don't learn something by the end of this semester, I'll have new pyjamas anyway :P (for those of you who didn't know, my old PBSM shirt I had in standard 6 is still being used as my pyjamas till this very day. )

love, joyce.

Wanted: Someone To Take Care Of Me

Dear lonely isle,

Last last Saturday, I was feverish.
Had rectal bleeding.
On Sunday I developed rashes.
Yes, people I know I'm heaty.

Yes, I know. Must drink more water, rest more, & eat more veggie.

Hehe thanks. I know you care :)

So on Monday, my baby made me go and see the doctor.

My medication.


Calamine lotion for the rashes.


Something for the bleeding.

Doctor said to take more fibre in my diet.

New staple food :)

Bye bye Maggi. It is now a delicacy I take when I don't have food or is too lazy to go to the canteen and adopt the surrounding smell >.<>

love, joyce.

Hanging By A Moment

"..I'm living for the only thing I know,

I'm running and i question where to go,

and I don't know what I'm tapping into,

just hanging by a moment here with you.."

Dear lonely isle,

That day after lecture I was chatting with some girls from Industrial Chemistry. We were comparing Form 6 and uni. It was then I realised that I really enjoyed form 6.

I enjoy everything with you guys.

Even sucky math tuition late at night :)

Or chem tuition on Saturdays.

When I think of form 6, the things that come to mind are:

• Cheng Choo & Chee Wei ;P The best sleeping buddies. Ever. I love you guys!
• Insect catching. Or in my case, observing insect catching. Hehe it's an excuse to hang out with you guys and go out every evening >.<"
• Cockroach hunting. Ben Lim shares my fear :P I will never forget that.
• Collecting plant samples to press. Aka Driving The Car Around & Stealing Plants.
• Duty days on Monday :) At one point it became Analyse ES Day. The day my brain will be put to work and taxed over & over again with the same questions, forcing me to repeat my answers in various different forms or formulating new solutions :P Naturally she doesn't listen to me. She never does >.<" Which is why I keep answering the same questions.
• MPT5 & 6 Atas. I had fun :) Lots of it. Scraping pass end year exams was worth it. Or did I fail my Peng. Am?
• Slavery on Fridays, Saturdays and various different days, depending on our beloved slave driver, Pn. Loh ;) What other kind of slavery can you sing all you want? Hehe I love choir practices. Miss singing with you guys so much..
• Outings. Either in Chloe or Nicole ;p Singing to songs on the radio and going round eating.
• Supper every weekend . Or most weekends.
• JB trip.

Can you bring back those times?

I didn't like STPM, but I'd go through it all over again with you guys than to be alone here.

I miss you guys.

love, joyce.

I Hate Sun

Dear lonely isle,

After the blistering cold week we had last week, this week took a completely different turn.

It's now insanely hot and humid.

Everything you do will result in only one thing: perspiration.

Sit at the bus stop. Sweat.

After bath. sweat.

Eat. Sweat.

Every damn thing you do will induce you to sweat.

What is wrong with this place????????

The weather is killing me. Will die from irritation soon.

love, joyce.

Erm, Misc Pictures.

Welcome to UMS

One of the lecture halls.

What passes for freezers in UMS.

Friggin cold in there. Christine I heard UM lecture halls are saunas.

You'l be so slim =)

Me after cleaning the room.

Regarding your question some time ago, Ann Gee , this is where I wash my clothes. No, there is no washing machine.

Shows the civic mindedness of my floormates, when someone has to stick something like that.

I'm taking a FOREIGN language people.

Arab homework. Tauge anyone?

My physics notes. Look familiar, Ann Gee? :P

My staple food.

Bee Siah's chlorophyll water. She swears by it.

Bee Siah, Mei Kuan, me & Sue Fern

Waiting for bus to KK. And for Ken Wai too actually >.<"

My Room

Eh hem. Ignore my room mate napping, and forgive the picture. Lazy to edit.

Focus on the important. Me.

Hehe, me before bed.

Er.

View of the door. My senior room mate's bed and table.

Jellybean still exists.

Forgive my laziness. I'm a lazy person, didn't you know?

My bed.

Ann Gee be thankful you have a nice, big shelves.

Essential Items Every UMS Student Should Have

Sunblock! Nuff said.

The UMS bag I abuse everyday. It's big and can fit all my junk.

Essential to every UMS student. Never leave your room without your umbrella.

I Hate Rain.

Dear lonely isle,

Here's a recap of what happened the past week.

Saturday, 5th August.
Went KK! Hehe, skipped a day of studying for an outing to town =)
5 of us: Mei Kuan, Bee Siah, Sue Fern, Ken Wai & me
Mei Kuan princess wanted to eat Pizza Hut but the line was so long so we bought bread to eat.
But as usual when Mei Kuan saw McDs looming in the horizon, she forgot everything and we ate there instead >.<>
Shopping! Or grocery shopping for me :P went to stock up on my supplies (maggi & biscuits)

Sunday, 6th August.
Day of Rest & Relaxation, a.k.a Day to be Sinful & Unproductive.
Woke up. Washed clothes. Cleaned room (dusted, swept, mopped).
After breakfast, the day went pretty much like this:
Fell asleep. Woke up. Ate.
Fell asleep. Woke up. Ate.
Read up on genetics. Got attacked by flying cockroach.
Lots of screaming, spraying, and general mayhem and confusion. Nuff said.

Monday, 7th August.
Nothing significant happened, except that the cute guy in my group (finally remembered his name -.-"), Teck Ho, told me that he had an IDENTICAL TWIN BROTHER. yummy. (sorry baby :P) The notion of TWO cute guys just erm, makes me feel that there is justice in this world for two girls.
Ziggy baby called =)

Tuesday, 8th August.
One of the worst days. Ever.
My period came. On the longest day of my week (on Tuesdays I have night class. Arab). On what turned out to be the COLDEST day I've ever had on Sabah. The starting of the extremely heavy rainy season. Rain. Rain. Rain. Wanted to die.
Idulged in impulse buying. Placed a deposit for the UMS jacket. It made me feel better though.
Ziggy baby called =)

Wednesday, 9th August.
More rain. Was so tired I slept through physics lecture and only woke up when it ended. Nothing new for most people >.<"
Ziggy baby called =) I'm really blowing his bill.

Thursday, 10th August.
More rain. Another long day. Thursday I have night class too. Arab.
Ate maggi!! =)

Hmm, can't list in detail what happened or it might either bore you to tears, or move you to tears. My life is that sad.

love, joyce.

Amen

"..well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you,

when you think everything's okay and everything's going right,

and life has a funny way of helping you out,

when you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face,

and isn't it ironic?.."

Dear lonely isle,

I think someone up there likes me.

If 2 years ago, someone were to tell me that a certain boy was gonna be very important to me I would have laughed. Sure I thought he was cute, but nothing more.

Then, as if to prove my point, he left my school. Off to Taylors to study A levels.

So I went through form six without another thought of him, other than as a stranger passing through my life. There was no news from him, neither did we keep in touch.

In those 2 years I spent my time feeling sorry for myself and rather lonely and thinking that stupid things like love only happened to other people. And to further support my theory I had a few crushes on various people, none of which worked out.

And so it went on, until I finally accepted that since it's not going to happen, I might as well be happy with my life, as I've been blessed with wonderful friends who love me very much. It's a different kind of love, but love nontheless. Just stopped looking and stopped being silly and stopped wondering when my turn will come.

Then one day, he made re-entry.

First through MSN, we chatted. I enjoyed talking to him and he seemed very interesting. Better still, somewhere deep in the recesses of my memory I could still remember his name and how he looked like. He wanted to arrange a meet-up before we all killed ourselves after getting STPM results, so after many postponings we finally met up, him and a group of us, the night before STPM results.

After that, well this girl found herself tripping and falling head over heels in love, and the rest they say, is history. Though it's really recent history by the looks of it.

So now, this coming 24th would be our third month together and already I'm missing him so much every day.

Just goes to show, you'll never know. Haha and I guess my friends were right.

They keep telling me it'll come when you least expect it.

And sometimes, with the person you least expect too.

love, joyce.

Sabah, Negeri Di Bawah Bayu

"..where'd you go?

I miss you so,

seems like it's been forever,

since you've been gone,

please come back home.."

Dear lonely isle,

It's been over a week since I came to Sabah, if only it'd stay true to it's name and have more wind here. I'd appreciate it.

• The weather here is insanely hot and humid. Water is a necessity here.
• The campus is waaay to huge. Takes forever to walk anywhere. Plus with the weather, you're looking to dehydrate yourself.
• The place is very beautiful. You can see Mt. Kinabalu peeking from behind the clouds and the sea nearby.
• Many people here speak mandarin. >.<" Even those wearing tudung.
• Yes, 'bah' is used a lot at the end of the sentences. Still doesn't sound right to me.
• Campus food is edible at best. Though I tend to end up eating pisang goreng quite often for reasons unknown.
• Everywhere I walk I seem to be going uphill.
• My room is on the third floor at the top of the hill.
• UMS has nice shuttle buses with air conditioner :)
• Umbrellas are a necessity of life.
• I'm going to be the same colour of bitumen when I return.
• I appreciate sitting toilets more than ever. Will use any that I come across, whether I really need to go or not.
• The chancellor's hall and library have nice toilets with seats :)
• I am currently roommate-less. Staying alone in a four person room. Total privacy but can be rather lonely.
• I spend most of my time in the state of 'sweaty, smelly and sticky'. It's hard to stay dry and nice smelling when even walking down the hill makes you look like you need a bath already.
• I appreciate electrical appliances like the washing machine and the microwave.
• I hang all my keys around my neck. The bunch is getting bigger >.<" So many things to lock up.
• I miss my room.
• I miss my home.
• I wanna go home.

Sigh, it's going to take a lot of getting used to, but I guess I'll be okay. If not now maybe next week. Or the week after. Maybe next month..

love, joyce.

Leaving On A Jet Plane

All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin'
This early morn
The taxi's waitin'
He's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could cry

So, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, baby I hate to go

There's so many times
I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now
They don't mean a thing
Every place I go
I think of you
Every song I sing
I sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring

So, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, baby I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Close your eyes
And I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times
When I won't have to say..

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again

Leaving on a jet plane..

Leaving On A Jet Plane
Chantal Kreviazuk

Happy : An Extremely Flexible State Of Mind

"..I'm unwritten,
can't read my mind,
ending undefined,
I'm just beginning,
the pen's in my hand,
ending unplanned.."

Dear lonely isle,

Well I've made my decision.
Even if it isn't the right decision, I'll make it the right one.
And since I can go about it 2 ways, I might as well choose to be happy about it.

My mum commented today that she's relieved that I tend to accept things, and try to live with it.

Sometimes I think she forgets that I accept things because I don't have a choice.

Rather than whine about it, might as well accept it if I'm going to have to do it anyway.

So. I've decided.
Now all that's left to do is to be happy about it.

love, joyce.

~ You & Me ~

Sigh...

Dear lonely isle,

Guess what?
I'll be going first after all...

love, joyce.