Friday, January 18, 2008

Why I'm Not A Morning Person

Dear lonely isle,

Someone up there doesn't like me today. I know because everything felt like a joke.
It was so funny, I was so TULAN.

It started off with me waking up late. Class starts at 8am.
I woke up at 7.30am.
After gulping down my hastily made Milo and dashing out to the car, it was 7.40am.
Jammed all the way to campus. It was already 8am.
Went to the lecture halls. Seems that there's an event of some kind at the main lecture hall.
How can I tell? Maybe because of the teams of fat, stupid old ladies with no sense of personal safety. They step onto the road without even bothering to look if you would stop. Oh no, humongous, gaudy looking thing like me? Even the blindest driver would notice, hon. Some really didn't even notice your car 'sneaking' up on them, because you can see the surprise in their eyes when they turn around, and realise for the first time in their lives, that someone invented the automobile. Wanted to bang them down so badly as an example towards other imbecillic old people.
Nevermind. I shall not hon at stupid fat crones.
And because of the bloody stupid event, the lecture hall carparks, which are usually half full on a normal day, were BLOODY FREAKING DAMN FULL. Okay. Late for class, and no parking space. I thought things like this only happens in shopping malls on weekends! Yeah we had a mini Mid Valley parking space hunting experience just now.
So I park my car directly in front of the lecture halls, which students are wont to do when they feel lazy. When I get out of the car, I hear the most unpleasant voice ever.
"Ah moi, ah moi, itu kereta awak? Tak boleh pakking kat situ. Pegi letak tempat lain."
WHAT BLOODY SHIT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? USE YOUR EYES YOU STUPID LITTLE MAN. THEY'RE SITUATED ON YOUR FACE. IT'S TO LOOK AT AND SEE WITH, THAT'S WHAT GOD PUT IT ON YOUR FACE FOR. CAN'T YOU BLOODY WELL SEE THAT THE CARPARK IS BLOODY FULL? Oh yes, I'm dreadfully sorry, I totally missed the point that you had your eyes surgically removed and placed on your backside. No wonder you had to look at me with you behind.
Nevermind. I will not bang down stupid toy guards.
So I go back to hunting for parking space, all the while avoiding killing stupid old ladies in gaudy baju kurungs. Okay, finally found one. Now DASH to class.
Sat down. Time. 8.10am.

Ten minutes later, my lecturer announces, "Okay, I have finished all my slides. Lecture over. Dismissed. There will be no attendance taken today."




It was 8.20am.


Now back to the carpark to retrieve my car. What I saw was this.


I forgot to bring my camera along today, so you'll just have to settle for my artwork with Microsoft Paint.

love, joyce.